Okay so here it is.
I Dess Annette Butler have a problem in my head and heart with my weight. I usually get the "Oh no not you Dess" Or "Dessy you look fine" Yeah yeah blah blah is all I hear. NO I am getting this out there. I feel the devil really has a foothold on me because I keep my disease in the closet. No I am really sick of this since I was 12 I have been OBSESSED about my weight. But no more. The Lord has promised to release me and I feel the only way I can do that at this point is to announce it to the world.
I HAVE A VERY UNHEALTHY WEIGHT PROBLEM.
So this is where it started when I was in 2 grade through 6 grade I had a best friend who was tiny I mean tiny tiny tiny. And me being competitive I thought I needed to be her size. For goodness sakes I was 8 to 12. And looking back in all honest it was like a Lab Dog comparing herself to a greyhound. No matter how much weight the Lab loses it will never be able to fit into the outfit of a greyhound (not bus the dog).
I remember being in 6th grade in the bath tub looking at myself and crying and telling myself over and over again I am Fat, I am so Fat. I hate myself I am so fat. (I just saw a pick of me from when I was 12 I was no were near the weight I thought I was)
Then I got to the summer before my Senior year of high school, for you Canadians that is Grade 12. So the summer before Senior year I got my wisdom teeth out. I couldn't eat very well. When I did get well enough to eat I only had one bagel a day and Power aid. When I went in to get my physical the doctor said "Oh you are a little heavy for your height you could afford to lose some pounds." I thought in my head "I am barely eating anything now, what does he want me to do eat nothing."
Volleyball came and I had to choose between volleyball or not eating. I loved volleyball more so I choose to eat. Then first year of college I puked twice on purpose to try bulimia but I told a friend because I was scared and didn't do that again.
Every day it follows me. I mean come on, you have to eat to live. It is not like I can just walk away and never look at another piece of food again.
I do really hate my body. My whole life I have always wanted to be 145 lbs and a size small. I guess you could say I wish I were something instead of what God made me.
So what now. Well I have given it to God. "YOU DID WHAT" That is right for so long I fought it thinking if I give it to God He will make me fat. Yikes that scared me. Lame thought but true.
Finally I have given it over to God. I know He is going to deliver me or He is actually delivering me layer by layer piece by piece.
This is what God has shown me so far that has really helped me:
1) We went to a dog beach one day and I saw all these different kinds of dogs. Tall, small, wide, slim, different shapes, sizes and color. And God really brought to my attention that if a Great Dane wanted to be the same weight as a Chiwawah (Spelling?) it would be impossible. That God made us all different. He made some people short and some tall, He made some people wide and some people lanky, God made some to be size 27 and others to be size zero. That we need to appreciate the body type that we are.
2) Did you know that when God made our body he made us naked. That was a gross thought to me at First but it is true. One day I was standing before God naked. I mean super naked and he was showing me that he curved my butt (All these years I hated my butt because it was so big) But he made it the size he wanted to. He showed me all the curves he put on me and all the time he put into me. Then he said "Your body is beautiful just the way I made you" Wow. If we could just get a hold of that. Instead of wanting to be super models if we could love our bodies the way God made us how free would we truly be.
3) The way I judge myself I judge strangers. I would look at peoples legs and arms and other parts and if it wasn't up to the standers of Vogue I didn't like the way their body looked either. But now that God is showing me that he made every ones body different I look at others different. I see them now and go "Wow God made their legs like that and He thinks it is beautiful"
4) The enemy has glasses he wants you to look through. There was this one day I was struggling with looking at my body in the mirror. I mean just hating what I saw (This was a month or 2 ago. So I said Lord you show me what you see you show me the way you see my body and how you see it. Man it was as if Glasses came off my eyes. I saw my legs for the first time the way God did. It was amazing. Not that I was like Hey BABY. Instead I was at peace with what God created.
SO this is where I am at now. I still am struggling wanting to be free. That is why I told you. The more sin is a secret the harder it is to be free from it.
That is my story. That is my struggle. God is working on me. Praise God!!!!
I love you all. SO hopefully this story will free you. Maybe there are skeletons in your closet the devil has a foot hold on. Let it out and Let God do what He does best.
"He set the captives FREE!!!"
I LOVE YA'LL,
Dess
Friday, August 22, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Presenting my Dog as a living sacrfice.
What an emotional ride I am on. When I truly stop and think about what is going on inside me I just want to cry all day until all the pain has been washed away.
So Joel and I headed to our second journey of our vacation. When God released us from Friend Ships we felt a peace about taking 5 months off to rest and see family. We completed our time with my family which was sad and heart breaking to say the least. We had the best time with them. It was a direct blessing from God. There were few and far betweens moments where it wasn't absolutely fabulous.
But then came the transition. The point I wish we could have skipped all together. Well at least the part of giving up our dog or as I like to call him our first child. The Lord had put on our hearts 5 months ago that He wanted us to give up all of our pets. And God even had a couple in mind to give Dynamite to. So Joel and I drove from Idaho to Blacksburg Virginia to see friends that we had met at Friend Ships and to give our precious loved dog away to a young couple.
My heart broke. The idea of not having Dynamite was hard beyond description (unless you had been there). After 14 months of being with him, 24 hours a day 7 days a week except for a week and a half of him being away from us, we had to give Dynamite away.
I can't even tell you how bad my insides hurt. How much I had loved and cared for this living being. How much time and energy we had put into Dynamite and then completely giving him up. When we got to Virginia we had a few days with him all to ourselves. And each morning (around 4 or 6) The Lord would wake me up or my broken heart would wake me up. I was crushed. So all I could do was go to my heavenly Daddy and lay in his lap or hide under Him and just abide in the one that loves me more than anyone. It was during this pain and during spending time with my Daddy that I found a place I had never known before. A place where I could be fully in my fathers arms and feel no pain even in the midst of my deepest heart ache. It was incredible. I had been there before a few times but it wasn't to the point of my God taking away every once of my pain and sorrow. My Lord gave me such peace and such reassurance that this is where dynamite should be. That this was his home and that the couple (dan and mary) were perfect for him. That during those morning hours I spent with my Daddy and that it didn't hurt one bit.
I still cried and I still hurt with everything in me after wards but it was mixed with peace and joy that surpasses all understanding and all emotions. It was unbeleiveably hard and unbelieveably joyful all at the same time.
So the day came when Joel and I had to go to Dan and Mary's house and give dynamite over. I cried all morning. But my prayer was that I would not cry at Dan and Mary's house so that they would feel joyful and comfortable about taking dynamite. And my God my Daddy granted my prayer request.
Dan and Mary are so awesome. And I feel so blessed that they are so great and wonderful for Dynamite. One of the things that made me happy is that when Dynamite stands beside Dan they make each other look normal. Explanation: Anyone that knows Dynamite knows how tall he is. Everyone calls him a horse because of his height. Dan is so tall as well and that when they stand by each other they don't look above average in height. I knew, when driving away, that God had blessed us in having Dynamite for a time and during that time we were to prepare him for dan and mary (which we didn't know) And that God had created dymamite for Dan and Mary. Oh yes Joel and I learned a lot from Dynamite, but in the end he was for Dan and Mary.
So You may be asking why would God have me give away our Dog. Why would God take pleasure in what I went through. If he really is a loving God he would have never of asked us to give up dynamite. So many questions so many feelings so many hard times.
A lot of scriptures have run through my head during this time. One being from Job: "The Lord gives and the Lord Takes away, Blessed be the name of the Lord." I know there are seasons where the Lord gives gives gives or I also know that God gave us dynamite. I had be praying for a dog for a year before God provide the right time and the right Dog for us. I prayed for our dog to have floppy ears (Dynamite did) I prayed (this is weird but true) I prayed for God to give us a dog that was so beautiful that every time we went out or saw people they would comment on how beautiful he was (and it happened almost every time we were out) God is so good. I prayed for other things and God gave almost everything I wanted to us in Dynamite.
But I also know that God sees Joel's and my future. I also know that God is good and that He is trust worthy. I know that Joel and I have given over every part of our lives, that we are God's property, and that He will tell us where to go and what to do as He sees fit.
So from knowing these things and having peace about giving up dynamite though we can't see what is next (only God) I know that there is a huge reason for God not allowing us to take dynamite into our next step, whether it be that we won't have enough finances for us and him or that the next place God takes us won't allow dogs and or that Dynamite would have been miserable in the next place we go to. I know when I find out why God asked us to give him up I will be thanking him for it.
My God is so good that He provided a great home for Dynamite. My God is so great that He gave us the strength, guidance, peace, and joy to give dynamite away. Which if it would have been all up to me and on my strength I couldn't have done it. 2 months before giving dynamite away I kept asking God "How am I going to be able to give up Dynamite, How am I going to be able to give him up and walk away from something I have wanted for so long and love with all my heart now"
Man I love my God. He has been so good to me. So as Job said I will say too BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD!!!"
So Joel and I headed to our second journey of our vacation. When God released us from Friend Ships we felt a peace about taking 5 months off to rest and see family. We completed our time with my family which was sad and heart breaking to say the least. We had the best time with them. It was a direct blessing from God. There were few and far betweens moments where it wasn't absolutely fabulous.
But then came the transition. The point I wish we could have skipped all together. Well at least the part of giving up our dog or as I like to call him our first child. The Lord had put on our hearts 5 months ago that He wanted us to give up all of our pets. And God even had a couple in mind to give Dynamite to. So Joel and I drove from Idaho to Blacksburg Virginia to see friends that we had met at Friend Ships and to give our precious loved dog away to a young couple.
My heart broke. The idea of not having Dynamite was hard beyond description (unless you had been there). After 14 months of being with him, 24 hours a day 7 days a week except for a week and a half of him being away from us, we had to give Dynamite away.
I can't even tell you how bad my insides hurt. How much I had loved and cared for this living being. How much time and energy we had put into Dynamite and then completely giving him up. When we got to Virginia we had a few days with him all to ourselves. And each morning (around 4 or 6) The Lord would wake me up or my broken heart would wake me up. I was crushed. So all I could do was go to my heavenly Daddy and lay in his lap or hide under Him and just abide in the one that loves me more than anyone. It was during this pain and during spending time with my Daddy that I found a place I had never known before. A place where I could be fully in my fathers arms and feel no pain even in the midst of my deepest heart ache. It was incredible. I had been there before a few times but it wasn't to the point of my God taking away every once of my pain and sorrow. My Lord gave me such peace and such reassurance that this is where dynamite should be. That this was his home and that the couple (dan and mary) were perfect for him. That during those morning hours I spent with my Daddy and that it didn't hurt one bit.
I still cried and I still hurt with everything in me after wards but it was mixed with peace and joy that surpasses all understanding and all emotions. It was unbeleiveably hard and unbelieveably joyful all at the same time.
So the day came when Joel and I had to go to Dan and Mary's house and give dynamite over. I cried all morning. But my prayer was that I would not cry at Dan and Mary's house so that they would feel joyful and comfortable about taking dynamite. And my God my Daddy granted my prayer request.
Dan and Mary are so awesome. And I feel so blessed that they are so great and wonderful for Dynamite. One of the things that made me happy is that when Dynamite stands beside Dan they make each other look normal. Explanation: Anyone that knows Dynamite knows how tall he is. Everyone calls him a horse because of his height. Dan is so tall as well and that when they stand by each other they don't look above average in height. I knew, when driving away, that God had blessed us in having Dynamite for a time and during that time we were to prepare him for dan and mary (which we didn't know) And that God had created dymamite for Dan and Mary. Oh yes Joel and I learned a lot from Dynamite, but in the end he was for Dan and Mary.
So You may be asking why would God have me give away our Dog. Why would God take pleasure in what I went through. If he really is a loving God he would have never of asked us to give up dynamite. So many questions so many feelings so many hard times.
A lot of scriptures have run through my head during this time. One being from Job: "The Lord gives and the Lord Takes away, Blessed be the name of the Lord." I know there are seasons where the Lord gives gives gives or I also know that God gave us dynamite. I had be praying for a dog for a year before God provide the right time and the right Dog for us. I prayed for our dog to have floppy ears (Dynamite did) I prayed (this is weird but true) I prayed for God to give us a dog that was so beautiful that every time we went out or saw people they would comment on how beautiful he was (and it happened almost every time we were out) God is so good. I prayed for other things and God gave almost everything I wanted to us in Dynamite.
But I also know that God sees Joel's and my future. I also know that God is good and that He is trust worthy. I know that Joel and I have given over every part of our lives, that we are God's property, and that He will tell us where to go and what to do as He sees fit.
So from knowing these things and having peace about giving up dynamite though we can't see what is next (only God) I know that there is a huge reason for God not allowing us to take dynamite into our next step, whether it be that we won't have enough finances for us and him or that the next place God takes us won't allow dogs and or that Dynamite would have been miserable in the next place we go to. I know when I find out why God asked us to give him up I will be thanking him for it.
My God is so good that He provided a great home for Dynamite. My God is so great that He gave us the strength, guidance, peace, and joy to give dynamite away. Which if it would have been all up to me and on my strength I couldn't have done it. 2 months before giving dynamite away I kept asking God "How am I going to be able to give up Dynamite, How am I going to be able to give him up and walk away from something I have wanted for so long and love with all my heart now"
Man I love my God. He has been so good to me. So as Job said I will say too BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD!!!"
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Fun on Vacation in the Great Northwest. Thank you God!!!
Hey Everyone,
It has been forever. But before I get started wanted to holla to all my canadian family and Friends "Happy Canada Day!!!!" Yipee. JOel, I and my fam celebrated it by going to an amusement park. Well they didn't know that is why we went but it was.
So JOel and I are having a blast here in the Great Northwest. GOd has been so good to us. I can't even believe how wonderful it has been. We have been playing kickball, basketball, soccer, football, hide and seek, and more with my nephews.
Joel and I have been helping mom and dad around the cabin. We had a big project of putting up glass railing around my parents house. We just have to put in the glass now.
My sister, her husband, joel and I and a few of their friends have had some crazy spades games. Where it was three against three.
So to share our experience here are some pics. Enjoy. We love you.
And BUTLERS we will be seeing you soon!!! YIPPPPEEEEEE
Joel and I (Of Course)
Forrest, Tammie (my sister), and their two boys
(Dean and Christopher)
Okay those two on the Right look nice but watch out
they are mean spades players (I guarantee)
Our Neices and Nephews. Ashley, Kialee, Alyssa, Allen, and Jami
It has been forever. But before I get started wanted to holla to all my canadian family and Friends "Happy Canada Day!!!!" Yipee. JOel, I and my fam celebrated it by going to an amusement park. Well they didn't know that is why we went but it was.
So JOel and I are having a blast here in the Great Northwest. GOd has been so good to us. I can't even believe how wonderful it has been. We have been playing kickball, basketball, soccer, football, hide and seek, and more with my nephews.
Joel and I have been helping mom and dad around the cabin. We had a big project of putting up glass railing around my parents house. We just have to put in the glass now.
My sister, her husband, joel and I and a few of their friends have had some crazy spades games. Where it was three against three.
So to share our experience here are some pics. Enjoy. We love you.
And BUTLERS we will be seeing you soon!!! YIPPPPEEEEEE
Joel and I (Of Course)
Forrest, Tammie (my sister), and their two boys
(Dean and Christopher)
Okay those two on the Right look nice but watch out
they are mean spades players (I guarantee)
Our Neices and Nephews. Ashley, Kialee, Alyssa, Allen, and Jami
My Sister getting married. Dad really was happy. Can't you tell by
his face!!!
SO that is just a few bloopers of what has been happening in Joels and my world.
God is richly blessing us with Family time and fun.
To God be the Glory,
Joel and Dess
Friday, May 30, 2008
Attitude and a Free Restuarant
So what do you do when you feel God called to you to help an organization and later you realize it is not an OUT LOUD christian organization.
Yep that is the question I have been asking God since Joel and I started Volunteering for a Women's and Childrens free Restuarant. So this is the story:
THe last time Joel and I were in the great northwest together we had lunch with my aunt and uncle who raved about this "christian" group who feed a meal and give groceries to woman in need. So when JOel and I got off the mission field I felt kind of empty not doing anything for God. Yeah I know that God gave us this gift of resting but when I felt a stir in my spirit to do something for Jesus I, two weeks later, thought about the "Free Restuarant" my aunt and uncle told us about.
I was pumped and ready to volunteer for Jesus again. I felt this huge leading by the Holy Spirit to go in that direction. We contacted my aunt and it was a go. When Joel and I got to the church I was pretty pumped. I had never been on the end where we were actually giving to those that needed the food. WEll not in Los Angeles at least. We were always the one giving it to the people who would them give it to the needy, poor, hungry, and lost. So I was pumped to be able to pray and tell about Jesus while giving groceries to these women.
When we got there I said something about Jesus to my Aunt that is when she threw in the bomb. "WE don't pray for anyone unless they ask" I was sooooooooooooooo disappointed. THinking what kind of Christian are these? THen I asked the lady who was in charge of hiring volunteers about God in the mix and she said "This is not a faith base ministry but an organization with good people doing a good thing" She is a great christian who I talk with about God at times but if it had not been for the Holy Spirit promting me to go on by saying"This is where I want you" I probably would have done my first day of volunteering and then said thank you but we are done.
ON the car ride home from the first day I was nothing less than majorly disappointed with much signing and hming and haawing. Joel doesn't like me that disappointed and felt I was being too much of a drama queen or too judgemental. Later he explained to me that since they get grants from the government then it is probably rules from the government that they can't do any thing religious. Made more sense but I started arguing with God on the way Home (I had a little over an hour to have this discussion.) This is kind of the way it went.
"BUT God you know how I feel about doing a "GOOD DEED" Good deeds don't last but it is your love and doing things in your Name that last forever."
God "Dess I want to show you that even a good deed is a good thing."
Me "But God I want to pray for people and love on them and tell them about You and how great You are"
God "If you give a cup of cold water in my name ...."
Me" BUT . . . . (can't remember)"
God "This is where I want you every week for the rest of your time here"
Guess who lost the argument.
Later that day I had an old hymn back in my head that had been playing in there for a week or more "Freely freely you have received freely freely give. Go in my name and because you believe, others will know that I live"
That is when the Lord spoke to me again "I put that in your head to prepare you for the work I want you to do at the Woman's and Childrens give out."
I later looked up the scripture about the cup of cold water thinking it was in Matthew 25 where Jesus talks about the goats and sheeps I later found the real scripture the Lord had given me, "If you give a cup of cold water to the least of these little ones as my disciple you will surely not lose your reward."
Wow I thought I am your disciple and the reason I am doing this is because I want to let the world know about You.
Then I saw a frame I had made for my sister and brother in law. We had put scriptures all over it and one of the verses popped out at me. It says "With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation" Isaiah 12:3
WOw Lord, I thought, if I have your joy over flow from me to the women I interact with at the organzation then you could bring forth waters of salvation for these women. Oh Lord show me how to tell about you with out using words that could get me in trouble. Or show me how I can tell them about you or give me oppertunities.
Later Joel and I spoke. He kind of rebuked me for being disappointed and I just shared what I was struggling with by not being able to ask if people wanted prayer. While we were in Los Angeles I saw major miracles from simple prayers. I saw a marriage be saved from praying 20 minutes a day for 5 days a week, I heard people tell Joel and I about healings and attributed it to the prayers we were praying, I heard about break throughs for salvation by praying with the people who were on the front lines once a week. I felt the power of God with each person I prayed for. SO it was hard knowing that some of the women we meet could have major life changing break throughs with just one question and one answer "Can I praying for you and yes"
But the Lord knows my heart and still has a purpose for me even though I am not allowed to ask if people want prayer. ON our second visit Joel and I were able to talk to the workers about Jesus and the mission work we did and how good he has been to us.
SO what ever the Lord has, I am game. All you and I have to say is "Here we are Lord, here we are!!!"
Still Learning GOd's lessons in Life,
Dess
Yep that is the question I have been asking God since Joel and I started Volunteering for a Women's and Childrens free Restuarant. So this is the story:
THe last time Joel and I were in the great northwest together we had lunch with my aunt and uncle who raved about this "christian" group who feed a meal and give groceries to woman in need. So when JOel and I got off the mission field I felt kind of empty not doing anything for God. Yeah I know that God gave us this gift of resting but when I felt a stir in my spirit to do something for Jesus I, two weeks later, thought about the "Free Restuarant" my aunt and uncle told us about.
I was pumped and ready to volunteer for Jesus again. I felt this huge leading by the Holy Spirit to go in that direction. We contacted my aunt and it was a go. When Joel and I got to the church I was pretty pumped. I had never been on the end where we were actually giving to those that needed the food. WEll not in Los Angeles at least. We were always the one giving it to the people who would them give it to the needy, poor, hungry, and lost. So I was pumped to be able to pray and tell about Jesus while giving groceries to these women.
When we got there I said something about Jesus to my Aunt that is when she threw in the bomb. "WE don't pray for anyone unless they ask" I was sooooooooooooooo disappointed. THinking what kind of Christian are these? THen I asked the lady who was in charge of hiring volunteers about God in the mix and she said "This is not a faith base ministry but an organization with good people doing a good thing" She is a great christian who I talk with about God at times but if it had not been for the Holy Spirit promting me to go on by saying"This is where I want you" I probably would have done my first day of volunteering and then said thank you but we are done.
ON the car ride home from the first day I was nothing less than majorly disappointed with much signing and hming and haawing. Joel doesn't like me that disappointed and felt I was being too much of a drama queen or too judgemental. Later he explained to me that since they get grants from the government then it is probably rules from the government that they can't do any thing religious. Made more sense but I started arguing with God on the way Home (I had a little over an hour to have this discussion.) This is kind of the way it went.
"BUT God you know how I feel about doing a "GOOD DEED" Good deeds don't last but it is your love and doing things in your Name that last forever."
God "Dess I want to show you that even a good deed is a good thing."
Me "But God I want to pray for people and love on them and tell them about You and how great You are"
God "If you give a cup of cold water in my name ...."
Me" BUT . . . . (can't remember)"
God "This is where I want you every week for the rest of your time here"
Guess who lost the argument.
Later that day I had an old hymn back in my head that had been playing in there for a week or more "Freely freely you have received freely freely give. Go in my name and because you believe, others will know that I live"
That is when the Lord spoke to me again "I put that in your head to prepare you for the work I want you to do at the Woman's and Childrens give out."
I later looked up the scripture about the cup of cold water thinking it was in Matthew 25 where Jesus talks about the goats and sheeps I later found the real scripture the Lord had given me, "If you give a cup of cold water to the least of these little ones as my disciple you will surely not lose your reward."
Wow I thought I am your disciple and the reason I am doing this is because I want to let the world know about You.
Then I saw a frame I had made for my sister and brother in law. We had put scriptures all over it and one of the verses popped out at me. It says "With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation" Isaiah 12:3
WOw Lord, I thought, if I have your joy over flow from me to the women I interact with at the organzation then you could bring forth waters of salvation for these women. Oh Lord show me how to tell about you with out using words that could get me in trouble. Or show me how I can tell them about you or give me oppertunities.
Later Joel and I spoke. He kind of rebuked me for being disappointed and I just shared what I was struggling with by not being able to ask if people wanted prayer. While we were in Los Angeles I saw major miracles from simple prayers. I saw a marriage be saved from praying 20 minutes a day for 5 days a week, I heard people tell Joel and I about healings and attributed it to the prayers we were praying, I heard about break throughs for salvation by praying with the people who were on the front lines once a week. I felt the power of God with each person I prayed for. SO it was hard knowing that some of the women we meet could have major life changing break throughs with just one question and one answer "Can I praying for you and yes"
But the Lord knows my heart and still has a purpose for me even though I am not allowed to ask if people want prayer. ON our second visit Joel and I were able to talk to the workers about Jesus and the mission work we did and how good he has been to us.
SO what ever the Lord has, I am game. All you and I have to say is "Here we are Lord, here we are!!!"
Still Learning GOd's lessons in Life,
Dess
Monday, May 12, 2008
Pets and Gas Money
Joel and I left Friend Ships over a week ago and it is pretty crazy.
A lot of old Friend Ships crew gave me advice and said if I needed to cry about leaving Friend Ships that they would be there for me. I actually haven't been very sad about leaving Friend Ships. It is crazy how God works. I am way more emotional, sad, upset, etc about giving up our pets. Yes yes I have been bawling like a baby every other day about giving up our three cats and dog. I thought I would be over the cats by now.
So a few months before we left Friend Ships the Lord really put on my heart that we had to give up our pets. (I cried right then and there) So Joel and I went throught the process of trying to find really really really good homes. Man it was hard but at the last minute of the last day it all worked out. One went to Grady and Ivy's home town to a really good friend of theirs. And Sheba and Patch went to one of my closest friend in Los Angeles. Her husband offered to take them to find good homes but when they got them they said "we might just have to keep them" WHo knows what will happen . . . It is now fully in God's hands not mine.
And my friends husband is allergic. Wow what a blessing it was for him to take them. But when I call my friend she told me he is the one that goes looking for the cats and pets them. And Sheba warmed up to him first. Thank you my God. But I still cry.
I have learned that animal movies are very bad for me. I knew this after the first time seeing an animal movie and bawling like a baby so when my nephew wanted to want alvin and the chipmunks (yeah i know they are a fur-ball cartoon-give me a break) I said no. But I went to get dynamite outside and passed by the TV in the middle of the movie (big mistake Big HUGE) I probably saw less than 5 seconds and it was the part when Theodore wanted to sleep with dave and he indeed up sleeping on dave's shoulder . . . I started weeping. I mean mega weeping.
So following GOd isn't always easy and it isn't always fun.
But He does bless and my favorite scripture right now is "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD"
But God has been so faithful. I didn't tell any one this except Joel, Kristin, and Rebekah Larson but before we left Friend SHips I was freaking out about getting home. We didn't have enough money for Gas to make it from Los Angeles to Washington state. Shoot I wasn't even worried about eating I thought "I can fast" The problem was gas money. SO I emailed Rebekah and asked her to pray for me. I knew my problem wasn't gas money it was my fear of God not providing. That is a way bigger problem than gas money. And During the months before we left I read in Deuteronomy 28 about "Blessed in the city blessed in the country. Bless when you come and when you go." I was like Lord I give you my finaces but as of now I don't feel blessed with us leaving. But with Rebekah and Joel praying for me I really calmed down and gave it to my God who is my provider. I didn't want to tell any one else because I wanted God to provide and not telling people so they would provide.
SO what happened? We got 100 dollars for gas and Jim and Kristin got us a hotel room for on the way to my parents. I was like thanks Lord. Then in one week I got 14 orders for my handcrafted jewelry. I was like wow that is so awesome we may have enough to make it home. But God was pretty much like Dess I haven't even started yet.
ON the last day we were at the warehouse and I mean the very last day people came to say good bye and each time they did they brought us money or gift cards. The first guy that came and gave us money I felt the Lord say "There's more Dess" THen another guy came and gave us money "THere's more Dess" THen my friend gave us a gift certificate "There's more Dess" Then a really great friend from church had gotten the whole church to get us cards and gift certificates for gas and food stops. That is when the Lord said "That is it, Dess" By the end of the day the Lord had blessed us through people with over 1,000 dollars. I was blown away. On the car ride leaving Los Angeles I started crying asking God to forgive me for doubting that he would take care of me who is His child.
WE truly never have to worry about tomorrow for God our Father who loves us so much and never leaves us nor forsakens us will truly take care of us.
Love ya'll
GOd's Daughter,
Dess
A lot of old Friend Ships crew gave me advice and said if I needed to cry about leaving Friend Ships that they would be there for me. I actually haven't been very sad about leaving Friend Ships. It is crazy how God works. I am way more emotional, sad, upset, etc about giving up our pets. Yes yes I have been bawling like a baby every other day about giving up our three cats and dog. I thought I would be over the cats by now.
So a few months before we left Friend Ships the Lord really put on my heart that we had to give up our pets. (I cried right then and there) So Joel and I went throught the process of trying to find really really really good homes. Man it was hard but at the last minute of the last day it all worked out. One went to Grady and Ivy's home town to a really good friend of theirs. And Sheba and Patch went to one of my closest friend in Los Angeles. Her husband offered to take them to find good homes but when they got them they said "we might just have to keep them" WHo knows what will happen . . . It is now fully in God's hands not mine.
And my friends husband is allergic. Wow what a blessing it was for him to take them. But when I call my friend she told me he is the one that goes looking for the cats and pets them. And Sheba warmed up to him first. Thank you my God. But I still cry.
I have learned that animal movies are very bad for me. I knew this after the first time seeing an animal movie and bawling like a baby so when my nephew wanted to want alvin and the chipmunks (yeah i know they are a fur-ball cartoon-give me a break) I said no. But I went to get dynamite outside and passed by the TV in the middle of the movie (big mistake Big HUGE) I probably saw less than 5 seconds and it was the part when Theodore wanted to sleep with dave and he indeed up sleeping on dave's shoulder . . . I started weeping. I mean mega weeping.
So following GOd isn't always easy and it isn't always fun.
But He does bless and my favorite scripture right now is "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD"
But God has been so faithful. I didn't tell any one this except Joel, Kristin, and Rebekah Larson but before we left Friend SHips I was freaking out about getting home. We didn't have enough money for Gas to make it from Los Angeles to Washington state. Shoot I wasn't even worried about eating I thought "I can fast" The problem was gas money. SO I emailed Rebekah and asked her to pray for me. I knew my problem wasn't gas money it was my fear of God not providing. That is a way bigger problem than gas money. And During the months before we left I read in Deuteronomy 28 about "Blessed in the city blessed in the country. Bless when you come and when you go." I was like Lord I give you my finaces but as of now I don't feel blessed with us leaving. But with Rebekah and Joel praying for me I really calmed down and gave it to my God who is my provider. I didn't want to tell any one else because I wanted God to provide and not telling people so they would provide.
SO what happened? We got 100 dollars for gas and Jim and Kristin got us a hotel room for on the way to my parents. I was like thanks Lord. Then in one week I got 14 orders for my handcrafted jewelry. I was like wow that is so awesome we may have enough to make it home. But God was pretty much like Dess I haven't even started yet.
ON the last day we were at the warehouse and I mean the very last day people came to say good bye and each time they did they brought us money or gift cards. The first guy that came and gave us money I felt the Lord say "There's more Dess" THen another guy came and gave us money "THere's more Dess" THen my friend gave us a gift certificate "There's more Dess" Then a really great friend from church had gotten the whole church to get us cards and gift certificates for gas and food stops. That is when the Lord said "That is it, Dess" By the end of the day the Lord had blessed us through people with over 1,000 dollars. I was blown away. On the car ride leaving Los Angeles I started crying asking God to forgive me for doubting that he would take care of me who is His child.
WE truly never have to worry about tomorrow for God our Father who loves us so much and never leaves us nor forsakens us will truly take care of us.
Love ya'll
GOd's Daughter,
Dess
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Graduation Presents
Greetings,
It has been one roller coaster ride of emotions. Joel and I only have about 6 more days here at Friend Ships. I can't believe it actually. I am more in shock than anything. Plus there is so much to do that our goal is to drive out of here. So I haven't thought MUCH about leaving Friend SHips. It feels more like a long vacation then actually leaving.
So I had an awesome thing happened to me that was a God thing for real.
The other day during my quiet time with God I starting thinking how scary it is to leave Friend Ships. That was one of my first times that it truly hit me. So I started to get nervous about us going out in the big bad world. Not knowing what to expect. Then in the middle of my worry the Lord put on my heart that leaving Friend Ships is like graduting from college or a university. That people do it all the time and have great excitement thinking about all that can be offered to them now that they have a degree. And for me graduating Friend Ships I have learned a lot about ministry and what God wants me to learn as well as growing in the Lord to which I am now more like Christ than ever before. (I still have a lONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG ways to go but it is better than when I came to Friend SHips over 5 years ago) So these thoughts of graduating brought me much peace and I really hadn't thought much of it since . . . UNITL TODAY.
There is a lady named Renee that goes to Hope Chapel. She picks food up for her church every week so that a hand full of people from her church can go out and give food to people or families who are in need and share the love of Christ. Renee and I have become good friends over the past year. We even went to an awesome Christian concert last summer that had TOBYMAC. WE got our praise on like no other.
Well Saturday is the day Ranee comes and picks up food for Hope Chapel. Today when Renee came she brought a present for Joel and I. She explained that during the week she started to get sad that Joel and I were leaving. And she didn't know what to do but then she got the idea that we were graduating just like her daughters did a few years ago. And that it wasn't a good bye good bye but that just like any college/university student graduating we would still be in touch.
The "graduation" present touched me so much. Not just because it was very thoughtful of her to get them for us but it was God's way of showing me that things were truly going to be alright.
What an awesome God we serve. I can't believe how much He loves us and takes care of us.
Thank you Lord for your blessings you pour in our lives and through us like no other.
In Love with My GOD,
Dess
It has been one roller coaster ride of emotions. Joel and I only have about 6 more days here at Friend Ships. I can't believe it actually. I am more in shock than anything. Plus there is so much to do that our goal is to drive out of here. So I haven't thought MUCH about leaving Friend SHips. It feels more like a long vacation then actually leaving.
So I had an awesome thing happened to me that was a God thing for real.
The other day during my quiet time with God I starting thinking how scary it is to leave Friend Ships. That was one of my first times that it truly hit me. So I started to get nervous about us going out in the big bad world. Not knowing what to expect. Then in the middle of my worry the Lord put on my heart that leaving Friend Ships is like graduting from college or a university. That people do it all the time and have great excitement thinking about all that can be offered to them now that they have a degree. And for me graduating Friend Ships I have learned a lot about ministry and what God wants me to learn as well as growing in the Lord to which I am now more like Christ than ever before. (I still have a lONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG ways to go but it is better than when I came to Friend SHips over 5 years ago) So these thoughts of graduating brought me much peace and I really hadn't thought much of it since . . . UNITL TODAY.
There is a lady named Renee that goes to Hope Chapel. She picks food up for her church every week so that a hand full of people from her church can go out and give food to people or families who are in need and share the love of Christ. Renee and I have become good friends over the past year. We even went to an awesome Christian concert last summer that had TOBYMAC. WE got our praise on like no other.
Well Saturday is the day Ranee comes and picks up food for Hope Chapel. Today when Renee came she brought a present for Joel and I. She explained that during the week she started to get sad that Joel and I were leaving. And she didn't know what to do but then she got the idea that we were graduating just like her daughters did a few years ago. And that it wasn't a good bye good bye but that just like any college/university student graduating we would still be in touch.
The "graduation" present touched me so much. Not just because it was very thoughtful of her to get them for us but it was God's way of showing me that things were truly going to be alright.
What an awesome God we serve. I can't believe how much He loves us and takes care of us.
Thank you Lord for your blessings you pour in our lives and through us like no other.
In Love with My GOD,
Dess
This is Hope Chapel praying before going family to family to give food, love, and prayer.
Monday, April 07, 2008
New Necklace blogger Website
Hey My Friends and Family,
It has finally happened and I am so excited. I have been praying about it for months and I finally got the Yes I wanted from GOd. NO Joel and I are NOT having a baby.
But I am starting to sell my jewelry online (kind of). So check it out. Mainly I want you to tell your friends so they can tell their friends and so on. So please do not think this is for you to buy but I just want my website to spread by word of mouth.
Love you Guys.
THANKS,
Dess
www.sarahsjewelry.blogspot.com
PS if you really want to know why I call it Sarah's Jewelry it was not named after Sarah my sister in Law. Though I love her to death. There are other reasons. So email and ask me if you would like to know. I might tell you . . . I might not. Hehehe
It has finally happened and I am so excited. I have been praying about it for months and I finally got the Yes I wanted from GOd. NO Joel and I are NOT having a baby.
But I am starting to sell my jewelry online (kind of). So check it out. Mainly I want you to tell your friends so they can tell their friends and so on. So please do not think this is for you to buy but I just want my website to spread by word of mouth.
Love you Guys.
THANKS,
Dess
www.sarahsjewelry.blogspot.com
PS if you really want to know why I call it Sarah's Jewelry it was not named after Sarah my sister in Law. Though I love her to death. There are other reasons. So email and ask me if you would like to know. I might tell you . . . I might not. Hehehe
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