What will the New Year bring???

Hello Friends, Family, and who ever else that wants to stumble upon this blog,

I am sitting alone on Christmas eve enjoying the rest I need. My heart is hurting from the past few weeks but with still much peace that I can not explain. It has been a slow, restful but hard vacation with much wondering of how this new year will turn out.

It is funny this vacation was so fly by the seat of my pants I didn't even think for a moment how any one else would feel about me being in Idaho. I have had many encouraging messages from some of my closest friends. Telling me things the Lord has put on their heart when they read our blog or when they prayed for Joel and I. It has been great confirmation. And then there are those other people that think there is something terrible wrong with Joel and I. Which is not the case at all. We are actually doing fabulous and look forward to the day we are back together again. There has also been those that do not agree with my vacation or my handling things in California. It has thrown me for a loop.

My Oldest sister was one of them. I love her to death and she didn't know anything that had went on. So one day in the car with just her and I, she said "Dess you need to learn how to handle stress better when you get back. Everyone has stress in their life and you need to think about how you are going to deal with it when you get back" Oh what a conversation we had!!! So I explained my situation and the things going on. She would give pointers then I would explain even more what happend. It was funny by the end of the car ride all she could say was "Well I guess the Lord is preparing you for something ahead!"

I just laughed for any one who knows what is going on says the same thing. The EXACT SAME THING. "The Lord is preparing you for your future."

Yes He is. I have to agree. So What could this year bring. Oh the only thing I look forward to is that God will be in the middle of it. He will be my center for anything to come. So I just laugh and say "Have your way Lord. Have your way. . . . Here I am . . . Have your way!!!"

I do Hope that all of you have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year. And when you go to write your resolutions for this year make sure you put God, Jesus, and The Holy Spirit at the top. For the only way you could ever get through life is the Strength He gives us. The only way to be have true VICTORY is to receive Jesus as your Lord and Savior to accept his Love, Joy, Peace, Patients, Kindness, goodness, faithfulness, Gentleness, and self-control. With those gift we can be more than a conquorer in this life.

I love ya'll
Dess

2 years down

Well it's hard to imagine it but we've been blogging for 2 years to the day. I hope that everyone who checks in on our blog has appreciated being able to know what's going on in our lives from time to time. It's been a long time since i personally have written. Many of my creative juices just haven't been flowing lately. A lot of things that i used to do as hobbies i don't do anymore. I also have been finding it harder and harder to open up to people. I'm a lot less likely to talk about myself or what's happening in my life than i've ever been in the past (and for those of you who have know me well, that means that i'm not saying much at all!!) So as i write this, i'm fighting conflicting feelings.

It's easy to write about what's been happening. To tell you all about what's new and exciting in our lives, but the deeper stuff remains deep. Well, this isn't turning out to be much of a post. I'm writing to let you know that i'm not going to let you know what's going on. That sounds pretty lame!!

Okay, well life has been challenging lately. There have been struggles and as Dess said there have been ups and downs. This is the first Christmas that i'm going to be spending alone like this. I try not to think about it much because there is a sense of loneliness. I've had plenty of offers from people to spend Christmas with them since Dess isn't going to be here. But i would rather do nothing than try to have a "holly jolly time" without her. I don't know if that makes sense. Plus i'm want to be around to talk with Dess and our families on Christmas Day. I am looking forward to having a day off where i can just hang out with our pets and talk on the phone. I think it'll be alright. There are other people in the warehouse, so if i get too lonesome i can always seek them out.

Sorry that i don't have too much to say. I hope you understand. It just seemed significant that we started blogging 2 years ago, so i just had to write something.

joel

This season of Peace!!!

As the song goes with Kirk Franklin and Jill Scott singing "I've been up -I've been down, I've been looking for some joy to come around. I've been praying for some sunshine-been lookin for a love that I can call mine. See I've cried-for so long and I'm ready for these tears to be gone- So I am calling on you-right now because You said Lord that I can make any how."

It has been one of the hardest seasons in my life lately. Oh I am sure I forget the pain of other seasons in my life and how hard it was to got through them. But I feel I have been in darkness. The darkness has stressed me out. Not knowing how to act or how to respond. Keeping a lot of things in side. Not wanting to sin in my emotion. I know it says "Do not sin in your anger" But for the most part I haven't been angry. Maybe mad but frustrated mostly. These frustrations have turned into stress. And for some reason my body took that stress and has made me ill. I thought I was sick for so long. Even pregnant at one point. But coming to the realization and Revelation from My God I was sick with throwing up and stomach aches because I was so stressed.

It got worse and worse. Again not knowing how to deal. I tried talking with people who are wise in the Lord but felt there were no answers each time. Revelation yes but not full on answers I needed. There would be peace for a while but for the most part I couldn't find answers just turmoil so I assumed it was a season for me and God to be alone. To grow, to persevere, to be more like Christ.

How do you be a person like Joel who is like a duck and lets things roll of their back. I am like a sponge - I soak it in and don't know when to squeeze it out. And you can't act like the rest of the world with quarreling and strife. For the Lord called all of us who are born again from life to death from the old person to a new creation. You learn not to have a tantrum with people but then again when there are no rules that apply for situations how are you supposed to respond. For the most part all I could do at the time was keep my mouth shut and Remember what God taught me. That it is about forgiving one another just as in Christ God forgave us and it is about Love and Mercy. If we have not Love we are a resounding Gong, a clanging symbol.

So what happened-I lost it. I feel like a person that needs to go to a place where other people have lost it. And I feel so dumb. Can I tell you that. I feel dumb dumb dumb. I really don't want attention. I felt horrible when Joel had to tell Don and Sondra that I need to get away asap and WHY. (the biggest part is WHY) They have so much on their plate. They don't need this. No one does. But I guess it needed to be done. And to tell people at church or with the food ministry. I am glad Joel is taking care of all of it because I can't handle it and don't want the attention of explaining myself. That I feel is the worst part of all. The why. So I am just not talking about it any more (the why) and taking it to God.

So what happened. Joel did the most loving thing a husband could do: Send me away from things so I could rest and have peace and work things out for myself. It was so the most unselfish thing in the world. I want to cry just telling you. Because of all of this and Joel seeing I needed to get away for a while Joel and I will be separated for 3 weeks over 2 awesome holidays.

But you know what that blows my mind being here at home. I have peace beyond anything I thought I would have. I have peace being away from Joel, I have peace that we will be separate over the holidays, I have peace that I am supposed to be here for this long. I can't even believe it. It is the most wonderful gift God has given me. Not that I am away but that I have peace with being away from Joel that surpasses all understanding which guards my heart and my mind. I am thinking more clearly my heart is at rest. It is God saying he approves and wants me here to be with him. I know I will be spending time with my family these two holidays but I know it will be more of spending those two holidays with God and being with him and Seeking his face. It is this deep communion I haven't had for such a long time that I needed and need so much. Wow it was like ordained by God and I thought it was a fly by thing. I praise My Father who has granted me this gift of peace.

Side Note (You know so many times people want "Blessings" and all they talk about are material things. Prosperity. It makes me sad. Because as Kirk Franklin puts it so well "The first things to prosper should be inside of me" The first blessings people should think about is heaven and then love joy peace patients kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self-control. Those are the blessings that make it seem when life throws at you yucky stuff that you can still be MORE THAN a CONQUORER

So any way. I have peace. With much sadness. But I would rather have sadness mixed with the peace of God than ungodly sadness and hurt.

So that is where I am at. Just wanted to let everyone know. I don't really want to talk about anything. So here is all I would like to share.

I love ya'll very much and thank God that He is a great and Loving God who cares for all his Children and he knows them by name.

Love,
Dess

PS Please pray for Joel at this time. He needs your prayers while I am away.

Silent Season

The Lord has put on my heart that as of now this is the season for the war cry. I see a lot of things happening around me and it is heart breaking. Every where I go, every where I turn in my life there is a battle to be won. I have found that words do not help, that emotions just cloud everything, so it is time to stop what I have been doing and to fall to my knees and fight.

I have started reading the Power of a Praying wife. And though most of the book is praying for your husband I find myself praying for me and Joel. The first chapter talks directly to the wife and to pray for yourself. I have now started praying that prayer every day. And when I don't I see myself get more irritated, more annoyed, and more responding in the flesh. For a long time I thought Joel had been the one who was in the wrong for stupid little things but now I see it is me and I need prayer more than anything.

Relationships have been hard too. And work and everything else that involves my life or is in direct contact with my life. Right now prayer is the only answer and it is helping big time. SO I haven't been as talkative lately and haven't been responding normal lately but it is just the season I am in. The season of prayer and of war.

There is a man that has been on fire for the Lord through the food ministry at his church and for the children's ministry. Everyone loves him. About two months ago he had a whole family move in with him and his family. The bills went sky high and they weren't making ends meet. When the family left because they found a place our Friend was hurting because of all the bills. Then the Lord provided 800 dollars. Our Friend praised God and cried and gave his Testimony. But then a week later the worries of his bills gave in again and he decided to leave for 3 months to go get a job 6 hours away that would pay his bills. It left a huge void in the food ministry and the children's ministry. Now he is talking about moving his whole family to where he is and leaving his church God has called him too. My heart breaks. For he has the fatherly instincts to provide for his family but He doesn't see that God is his ultimate Father and He will take care of our friend. That times seem tough now but God is there and is pleased with him and that this is the enemy's trap for getting away from what God has called him to do.

My Heart Breaks. Father God we need you. Lord help us to know that you will take care of us. That even when things look bad you have our back. Help us to know that we will never be an adult to you but always your child and that as YOUR child you take care of our food and shelter and every other need and even wants we have. Lord help us. We need you, we love You, change us. IN Jesus Name Amen.
Love you guys. Never stop worshiping Him for He takes care of all!!!

WARNING

WARNING: The next blog is extremely long. You may want to come back another time and read it or I would suggest getting a hot beverage or popcorn. It is as dramatic as some of the soap operas on TV.

Thank you for Veiwing.

Publisher,
Dess Butler

Praising God in the midst of Uncertainty

Hello Everyone,

I have been longing to write this knowing that the end of the month was coming. Knowing there would be something to glorify God at the end of the month of October. Here is my story for October of 2007.

When October first came God put on my heart to have an outreach. The scripture He gave me was “the Harvest is Great but the laborers are Few.” So I started praying for the people’s hearts to be softened so when we did minister to them they would accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. During this prayer God spoke to me and said "No Dess the people are ready to receive me and my son you need to pray for laborers." I have to admit I was very hard-core at the beginning but when things were going my way, I didn't pray as much for Laborers. Isn't that funny. We pray when we want but a lot of times we don't pray until the task is done.

So I had in my head to have a free concert and free food. I knew a band and a parking lot (in the perfect location) and even a youth dancing team. I went to all these groups and each person in authority said yes they could do it. (I was pretty much throwing my fleece out and saying Lord if these four things come through I will do this outreach) My four things were: Hot dogs, the heavy metal Christian band, the parking lot and the dancing team. The groups all said yes to me with in three days. Also in those three days we had received more hot dogs at the warehouse than I have ever seen come in. I was like okay Lord I will go through with this, when do you want it? I was search for a date in my head, November, December, maybe even January. But I had no peace with those months. Okay Lord what do you want? My mind went to October. The end of October to be exact!! "NO Lord that is too soon. Don't you know we are busy and this church is doing this or it would be hard to do that. Give me more time" But the peace remained for the end of October. All I could say was YES LORD YES.

I did everything I could getting arrangements ready, timing ready, people ready. During the first three weeks (Which I only had 4 weeks total) everything was running really smooth besides the fact that the youth dancing group couldn't make it but I knew of another one and they were pumped to go.

At the end of the third week I get an email from the Pastor letting us use their parking lot stating: I am sorry we are going to have to cancel your event we have a tree planting ceremony that day. I am sorry, if you want we can try this later.

I had to decline for the Lord said the end of the month and if He said the end of October I wasn't willing to be disobedient. During this time my pastors wife came up to me and said she wanted to introduce a Christian rapper to me that would love to outreach. I was stoked because I had wanted a rapper but only told one other person this who was in Stockton CA not Los Angeles CA. We talked and he was pumped too. Praise GOD!!! RIGHT??

So I pushed with everything I had to find a place to do this event at. The second place I found was a low-income apartment. It was too perfect . . . . . . . in my mind.

These people barely had food in their cupboards, they were from all different religions, and backgrounds, and some didn't have furniture in their apartments. I was blown away. To be able to bring the Love of Christ to them filled me with great Joy. And the park we were going to do it at was the center of these apartments and they had barbecues. My Lord, you did it again . . . So I believed with everything in me.

But four days later I get a call saying I am sorry this is too short notice we need more time to plan and we don't know you. But if you give us 2 weeks we will do this. Again I declined. I could not go against what God said about having it at the end of the months and two weeks would put us in November. Also I thought we need to plan, but everything is ready: Food, Music, People. What more could they want. OH well.

Again during this time Joel and I were in the car one night heading back from Church. I started speaking. “Joel I think one of reasons God wants us to do the event is because there is going to be a natural disaster happening and we need to give them Jesus so if they die they will be able to go into heaven.” I wanted to give more details but I thought it was sounding kind of funny and Joel would laugh at me. But it came to my mind later that a disaster would happen and we needed to give Jesus.

So for the next week I tried everything I could to find us a place to have the outreach. During that week the fires broke out in California.

Lord is this why we are having the outreach because of the natural disaster to reach out with your love??

Can I tell you I tried 10 to 20 places and all denied me. 90 percent said the same thing. If you would have told us sooner we would have done it but why don’t you push it back and we can still plan it and do this outreach together. My response for all NO THANKS.

The last saddest try was from a lady who said her church was ready for us they had a community center and fire evacuees ready to have the concert and eat the food we collected. They would have barbeques for us and everything. I asked her straight out, “IS this a FORSURE thing.” Oh yes it is already for you.

So I called the band they canceled on me saying it was too last minute down to the wire. The funny thing is nothing had changed. The date and time were the exact same just location was different. Again their response “But we will do it with you in the future” AHHHHHHHH

So I talked to my pastor two nights before the event was going to happen because that is when the band canceled on me. I said there is a for sure deal, in which we could help and minister to fire evacuees. He was pumped and excited and called everyone he knew from our church and different churches and got it all worked out. People were coming, the dance team plus a our churches singing group was coming. People were so EXCITED.

That night the lady calls and says what about you guys doing it in Mexico I said no thanks we want to do it where we had said originally.

The next day I email her my decline for Mexico and she writes back saying “Mexico was a back up plan if our original plan didn’t work”

WHAT, I THOUGHT THIS WAS FOR SURE!!!!

That afternoon a pastor from Mexico calls my pastor and me saying I am sorry you we have a small church and we can’t pull this event off. How could you think of asking us at such short notice why don’t you come to Mexico and do the outreach.

I was so mad. MAD MAD MAD MAD!!!! And hurt. SO I had to tell my pastor and he canceled everything. I was crushed. Embarrassed even ASHAMED. I actually wanted to die. I wanted to leave this earth and go to heaven already.

That night we had to go to a mandatory church service. I went but Joel and I hid from everyone. I still had peace but I was so ashamed. Thinking about everyone excited to help those who were hurt by the fire (emotionally as well as materially) How the teens were excited and had been ready. Oh it was a dark hour for me. I wanted to curl up and die.

The lady who had offered the community center earlier called me again and said there was a parking lot we could have with a shelter for fire evacuees down the road we just had to show up. My Friend checked to see if the shelter was open. The shelter was going to be closed the day we had planned to have the outreach. IT wasn’t going to open for evacuees until Monday. By that time everyone had canceled on me besides Friend Ships crew plus two people from church. There were 8 of us still game to helping with the fire. We knew God always did the impossible even if we stood on the side of the road with our barbecue, we knew God would be with us. And at this time even though we didn’t have any entertainment God had blessed us with 600 meals (hamburgers, hot dogs, ribs, pizza, and shredded chicken, all combined to service 600 meals)

What were we going to do with that???

In-between all of this there was a group from Washington State that had called Friend Ships saying they were going to bring down a team to feed people for the fire disaster. I had kept putting them to the side thinking maybe they were an option. They were going to feed first response people and fire men. I wanted to feed evacuees.

But in the end they turned out to be our only open door. We found out they only had 5 people feeding 1000 meals a day to marines, army, any military helping with the fire all firemen and more.

SO Sunday the 6 of us went, the other two are very involved with church and had obligations so they couldn't make it. We brought a huge truckload of food. Apples, cucumbers, grapes, bread and 600 meat meals, and the list goes on. We drove the Friend Ships truck down to where the church set up shop to feed the people.

Can I tell you I was disappointed because we didn’t minister to any one, one on one. But it was still good. The day before Friend Ships crew got there the Washington Church had fed a lot of fire men. The church team had served soup the day before we got there and the smoke had caused some firemen to have a sore throat that they couldn’t even swallow the soup .

John Bibler was one of the Friend Ships crew that came to help feed and he took me to an evacuation sight. I thought he meant a town that was evacuated and I could take pictures. OH NO, he meant a shelter. I was freaking out “John we can’t go in there, we don’t have permission” "OH COME ON," he said.

We went in with a huge box of flowers for the people the red cross volunteers were so touched and John asked if we could come in and do balloon animals for the kids. The people were happy for us to do this. I blew up the balloons and John made them into balloons animals. It was my favorite part of the whole outreach. The kids were so cute. Some of the people spoke Spanish and English. So there was this one little girl that John and I couldn’t understand so I thought she spoke Spanish. She would say something so I said “You want a bear” “NO” “You want a puppy” “NO” She was getting madder and madder and she was only 3 or 4 with this much anger. Wow. Finally I understood. “PUT IT AROUND ME” She wanted the balloon as a belt. So John made a dog head and put it around her little waist. She wanted another one around her waist, but there was no room since she was so little, so John put it on her head. She wasn’t impressed. Oh well.

Then there was another littler girl who was about 12 or 13 she had grabbed a huge thing of roses and was parading them around. She even had one of her friends taking pictures of her as if she had won a beauty contest. I was able to get a picture of her. She was so cute.

So what did I learn? I learned that I have to do what God says no matter if it works out or not. I am responsible for my own actions.

I learned that If you give a cup of water in Jesus name God is pleased so even if I didn’t minister to any one and tell them about Jesus I still gave a whole truck of food, a box of beautiful flowers, and blew up balloons for balloon animals all in the name of Jesus. Today I prayed for everyone that received food, flowers and balloon animals that they would all call on the name of Jesus and be saved.

I don’t understand what God is and was doing. I may never. But God is still my God and He is on the Throne. I will not take Him off. Though I am hurt and still working through things I know God spoke clearly to me and even though things didn’t turn out either because God wanted it to end the way it did or because people said no to God I know it is okay because God was with me the whole time. I still haven’t faced my church and I dread it though it was out of my control. I still feel ashamed.

The Lord is my God. The rain falls on the Just and the unjust, and the sun rises on the good and the evil. Bad things will happen in this life but never stop loving or obeying God.

Gods little servant,

Dess

Cheesecake and Jesus

Sorry It has been so long since writting. Life is getting crazier and crazier.

SO my parents came down for my Birthday and to spend the week with Joel and I. The worked with us and helped up give out food on food ministry day. It was so much fun and miracle after mircles happened while they were with us.

During the week we got a call that one of our food contacts had plums for us so Mom and I jumped in the truck and headed for the Food Bank and we picked up 6 tri-wall bins of plums. Wow

But on Thursday we received word that the rest of our food contacts didn’t have anything for us (THIS IS VERY USUAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I REPEAT VERY UNUSUAL). So all we had for Friday Food Ministry Day was plums, a half of pallet of grapefruit and a half pallet of pears that we had from the week before and of course bread. It was so disappointing for one reason only: my parents were here and I wanted them to see the food ministry in full action. Otherwise it would have been fine to have what we did.

On Thursday Port Mercy (our Home base in Louisiana) called to give me a list of food items they needed for there upcoming medical mission in October. Two of the items were pies and cheesecake. They wanted Ray to try and contact our sources for those two items. I went to Ray and asked if he would contact his cheesecake company. Ray’s Response “We haven’t had a cheesecake contact since ’93.” “Well can you call your Pie Contact.” “Dess do you know how impossible that is. I can call the guy 50 times and he still won’t return my call. I had even called him last week and I still haven’t received a call back.” “Ray just call to at least say we tried, Please!!!!” I begged.

10 Minutes later “Dess you will never believe this I just called my Pie contact and the guy actually picked up the phone and said they have 6 pallets of pies for us.” Ray was in full shock. Flabbergasted you could say.

45 Minutes later on our answering machine “Uh Yes this is Ashley calling for Ray George, at the food bank we have cheesecake if you guys would come pick it up.” So whatever word would describe more than flabbergasted, that is what Ray was for the rest of the day while he and I went around picking up all the goodies.

So Ray and I went to the food bank not knowing how much cheesecake they had and we found out they had 20 pallets of the wonderful stuff. We ended up picking up 8 pallets. We were able to put a lot of cheesecake and pie away for Lake Charles as well having some to give out for Friday. Can I tell you we never even mentioned to the Food Bank we wanted cheesecake? It had only been an hour or more since I had talked to Port Mercy that the Food Bank then called OUT OF THE BLUE and said they had cheesecake for us. So Not only did God answer our prayers for the mission trip but we had a huge blessing for the food ministry and my parents could see more of what we did. God is so Good.

But just to add a little more humor to this praise report. The day we received all the pies and cheesecakes my parents took Joel and I out for my birthday. And they told the waiter it was my birthday. I was like “oh no they are going to sing to me.” But Praise God they didn’t and they did bring dessert. I am sure you can guess what they brought: CHEESECAKE.Thank you Lord for not only supplying our wants but in abundance.

Wow and my parents were blown away when we gave out the food to the groups, churches, and individuals. But my parents were more blown away by the prayer that each group recieves as they came to get the food.

It was so wonderful having my parents here. It was really sad to see them go.

So life here is hard but good. It is just like weight lifting. You have a goal of lifting as much weight as possible but you don't just go over to the heaviest weight and lift it. NO NO NO. You work up and push your self further each week. That is what I feel has happened over the last 4 years. GOd has been working us up to us being here as well as future things God has for us. And each time it was harder but God made us stronger and now that we are here it is REALLY REALLY REALLY hard but we have the strength to do it. Now if you would have given us this mission 4 years ago I would have probably of walked away from it along time ago. But praise God He knows what is best for us and will prepare us if we let Him.

It is hard in that we don't have friends here. Sure we talk to people all the time. But no one we can just share what we are truly going through. We need companionship. I am sure missing a friend. Some one that will understand me and pray with me and encourage me in the Lord. Most of the people we talk to, we are encouraging them in the Lord and they don't understand what we go through. There was one time I tried to share what I was going through with a lady that picks up from us. She kind of freaked out and didn't understand and then told almost everyone we give to what I was going through. Now a lot of people are coming up to me and telling me rumors they have heard. SO I have come to the conclusion that the people we give food to we can't confide in because we are the ones they look up to and need prayer from. So who is there. No one at this time. God and Joel are my only friends. But it may just be a season where God wants me all to himself. It happens. It has happened before, it can be now. God is trully all I need and will not hold anything good back from me. So I just lean on Jesus and say AMEN.

SO here are some pics of the food ministry.

HOPE CHAPEL PRAYING BEFORE GIVING OUT FOOD

LADIES FROM A CHURCH PRAYING FOR A WOMAN
BOXING PLUMS

A GRANDMOTHER AND CHILD RECIEVING FOOD

Love y'all,

Dess

Off the Hook at Stockton

Being at Stockton was off the Hook. And I almost didn't go last weekend because it was so last minute. But thanks to God giving me Peace and Joel encouraging me to go, I went. Yeah it took 6 hours but it didnt' seem that long on the way there.

I was able to stay with my closest friend Toni. Who has four wonderful fun Teens. Well 3 are teens the youngest is almost a teen. Yikes. Go Toni.

But Church, that is where I got my PRAISE ON. Oh I was so refreshed. I got my Praise on like no other. I hadn't got my praise on like that in a long time. I Praise God So hard that by the second service, after the second praise and worship with singing, I stank. I mean I was so sweety. I was a mess and I could smell myself. I felt bad for the people around me. My shirt I wore was drenched in sweet and I drank most of my water bottle by first service. It was that good. I can't wait to go back and I can't wait to move there some day.

The message was awesome. I love Pastor Rufus's Preaching. The message was "The Crowd" There was two parts. One you can be outside the crowd and they can try to contol you. The example was the blind begger yelling to Jesus but their was a loud crowd making noise around Jesus. And the begger yelled, "Jesus son of God have mercy on me." But the crowd hushed him, telling him to be quiet. SO what did the begger do he yelled louder and again. Jesus son of God have mercy on me. So when Jesus healed the begger the man got up and started following Jesus and priasing God. So what did the crowd do, they stopped making noise and started praise God. So to learn from that. The crowd can be your friend or foe. And if you don't do what the crowd wants you to do they will try to control the situation.

Second crowd example is that the crowd can blind you and keep you from seeing what is around you. Like when zechias (spell?) was trying to get to Jesus but he was short and their was a crowd around Jesus. So zechias climb the tree and called out to Jesus and in the end after zechias talked with Jesus and said he would do right Jesus said "Salvation has come to your house now I am going to go to your house and dine with you" Well the crowd didn't like that and said "That is a sinner Jesus is going to eat with"

SO Pastor Rufus put us in Jesus's shoes. That the crowd was blinding Jesus from zechias. And that as christians our "christian" clique can blind us from those that are not saved and need God. And some times we have to pull away from the crowd to reach out to the unsaved because we are way to comfortable in our christian "clique"

It was good and it ministered to me. I needed that message. I realized even more that I let the crowd control some of my actions when instead I need to step out and do what I feel the Holy Spirit is leading me to do.

So Church was awesome I didn't want to leave. And I pretty muched cried the entire time I was in church because I was so happy to be there. Praise God he gave me a chance to visit.

Well that is all. Love ya'll
Be Blessed and Don't Follow or be blinded by the Crowd!!!!

Home Alone

Hi Everyboby,

Well, i'm writing for a change. I'm writing mostly because Dess is out of town for the weekend and i'm bored. I've been playing my computer game for hours on end, and now i need to do something more productive, like write on the blog.

First off, i want to mention the fact that no one has commented to Dess' latest posts. We need some feedback and input from you guys to help us know that writing on this blog is worthwhile. So we appreciate any sort of encouragement to write that we get.

Like i said, Dess is gone for the weekend. She left for Stockton, CA on Saturday morning. It was last minute but planned at the same time. She had been trying to get to Stockton for the past couple of months but stuff kept coming up. Then this weekend she had hoped to go but we found out short notice that we were having some visitors to the warehouse. So the visitors postponed on Friday evening saying they would come later in the week and Dess decided she would go to Stockton. She may write and post some pictures about it when she gets back.

I haven't been doing a lot. I bought some cheap old roller blades from Salvation Army last weekend, so i've turned the 3rd floor into a roller rink. I've got a decent sized oval track that i can do laps. I even take Dynamite with me and he follows along, biting at a piece of rope i drag behind me. It's a good work out for him and it's fun for me.

Dess mentioned about how things have been tough. It's been an emotional fatiguing time for us. I've been numb to the world around me lately and i need to get back in tune with things.

I don't really have much to write about right now, so i'll sign off.

joel

Check out our Flickr site!!!!

Hey AlSO!!! Check out our flickr site. www.flickr.com/photos/butlerboy
Joel just put some new photos up. SO Check them out!!!

Pure Gold for Jesus!!!

The saying is true that you should be careful what you ask/hope/pray for you might just get it. (in my case I prayed and got what I wanted but not in the way I thought it would come)

So God has seemed very distant lately. I blamed myself mostly. I mean there is only two things that can keep us at a distant with God.

1) Ourselves. We can get distracted, our thoughts can be so horrible it can keep us from the presense of God, our actions, so you get the point

2) Then there is God. Some times or as Kippin likes to say some "Seasons" God will draw back from us to grow. Kind of like when you are learning how to ride a bike. My Dad would hold the bike while I was peddling and at one point he let go so I could learn on my own how to ride the thing. I freaked out and nearly wrecked when I found out he wasn't holding my bike any longer. Some times God will let Go so that we can walk out whatever the thing is in our lives to grow more.

Well lately I have been crying out for more of My heavenly Father. He has just felt so far away. So dry. Even when I worship with music I don't feel his presense.

My First reaction is to blame myself and I would say for the most part it has been my (Dad butler saying) "Stinkin THINKIN" I have been moody with my thoughts and complaining. Goodness. I am like the Israelites in the desert. Complain complain complain. As Joyce Meyer's would say. Complain and Remain. Praise and Be Raised. SO true. Sounds like it is so nerd thing to say but I can't tell you how true that is.

So things have been hard with Joel and I. Who knows why, it just has. But it has brought me to my knees. I casted my cares on Jesus. My Marriage, my dreams of marriage, and I casted Joel. For it takes two but I can't control Joel and he can't control me. So just to give my marraige over to Christ instead of me trying to take the wheel and screw up. So Here Lord I give it to you.

Also it has been hard at the warehouse. People are offended here. There is nothing we can really do about it but again it is to my knees these situations bring. I take it to the cross where Jesus conquered all. You know some times I don't feel like "more than a conquerer" but we are. That is what the bible says so it must be true and it is true. Again I cast my cares on you father God for you care for me.

Then there is interpersonal communication. (aka interaction with other people) Yikes again more casting it to God. Giving him my thoughts and actions. Praying he would help me put all my thoughts under CHrist control so I do not screw up my mood.

Because this is how it goes. You first have your thoughts. Which create an emotion which then lead to a behavior then the results.

So 1) Thoughts 2) emotion 3) behavior 4) results. Well I made the 4th one up I forgot what I was taught but the first three are true. SO inorder to put my actions pleasing to God I must first commit my thoughts to God. Then the rest will follow.

So things are hard here lately but I praise God they are because for the first time in who knows how long I feel closer to God. On Tuesday I went to church and for the first time in a long time when we worshipped with Music I could feel the presense of God again. So I do thank him for Trials. They aren't fun but they are worth all the Gold in the world for that is what happens when the refining fire (Jesus) comes, it makes us into pure gold for Him.

Turning into Pure Gold for Jesus,
Dess

Just wanted to Check in

Hey Ya'll,

Things here are really good. It is only the beginning of the week and we have 5 pallets of Pomagranet Juice, 1 pallet of artichokes, 1 pallet of radishes and 3 tri-wall boxes of plums. Tomorrow are getting 3 to 4 pallets of Yogurt.

This is exciting. To get all this free food to give it freely to the churches so they can freely give it to those in need and share Christ love. I love it.

But you know there is a downer (some of the time) Because I want to be the one praying with people and giving the food to those that need it and making sure I am Kingdom building. But that is not what JOel and I are called to do (at this moment) So we pray and trust that the churches are not just giving food out but are praying and loving on the unloveable. Those that have been rejected by society. Or just those that are in need in this season in their life. That aren't rejects but have hit a few bumps on this road called life which God has given to us as a free gift.

And who knows when we have our own food ministry that we won't have a group of our own volunteers go out and pass out food as well as other groups or organizations or individuals passing out food. You never know. IT has been in my thoughts that we could have people from around the area from different churches be trained by us and they would be considered "our" volunteers who would go out and show the love of Christ but would also invite them to their church as well. It is just a thought. Whether it is my own thoughts or a promting from the Holy Spirit, I don't know. Because the Holy Spirit does give us ideas at times. So that we might do good work for Christ which has been planned ahead of time for us to do. (paraphrase to the max, but you get the point)

YOu know I am learning more and more that there are three factors to our thinking. There is us (of course) there is God giving us thoughts, and there is Satan. Some times we don't know if it is God's doing or Satans doing until time has passed.

For an example parable whatever to help get your mind wrapped around what I am saying. Lets say I am trying to get pregnant (Which I am not, please keep in mind this is an example and not my life) So lets say I am trying to get pregnant. One day I get sick. I throw up. And I keep throwing up. I start to think am I sick or am I pregnant. Only time will tell. Same with God and Satan at times. Because Satan does mimick God . . . .. . . A LOT. Is this God or is this Satan. SO any way. I am just rambling but this is what I have been thinking about lately.

Well that is it from me. It is not much. But there is not much going on.
Be Blessed My Friends and Fam.
Dess

Has it been Since May 18th, GOODNESS

So it really has been too long since we have blogged. For one thing I have talked myself out of blogging too many times using the excuse that no one is going to look any more since we haven't blogged in forever. But then one of our good friends told us he still looks to see if we have written on our blog. So this is for you man and for those that are faithful and still look at our blog.

Yeah it has been three months and everything and nothing has happened. So where do I begin. Well the food ministry has been awesome and frustrating. It has been awesome because we are getting in more food per week and have accepted more churches to come and pick up from us. Frustrating because I feel dry and redundent in my prayers every week that we pray with each group that comes and picks up from us. I almost feel like I am not doing my job since it feels like the same prayer every week. I need a refreshing in my spirit. I need God to fill my cup to overflowing. I need a good blast and filling of the Holy Spirit. I just need more of God and less of me. CAN I GET AN AMEN!!!

So our pets are growing up. They are so cute. Dynamite is only three months and he is well over 20 lbs. The kitties are growing up as well but no where near as fast as Dynamite and Dynamite thinks they are a chew toy. Poor kitties, but they take it like a man or uh cat. Then Ms. Bird well she just wants love and attention like any other cockatiel. (Don't know if I spelled that right)

So we have been picking up more and more, this week we had a total of 39,000 lbs. Just for this week. We picked up 6 pallets of Pomagranet/Blueberry Juice, 2 Pallets of Tomatoes, 2 Pallets of Mushrooms, 3 Pallets of Yogurt, Goodness that is just some stuff I can't remember all. It is such a blessing to have the churches Kingdom build. We are all just doing our part as the body of Christ.

I love driving my Truck. I feel like a big bad trucking Mama. WEll I can say that since I am not driving it at this moment. When I am on the road I pray like no other asking for protection. That God would protect me from reckless drivers and that God would protect other drivers from ME. Hehehehe.

Well it feels like in less than a year that Joel and I might be leaving. Can you beleive it. Now this is not in stone but we both feel it is coming down to the wire. Do we know where we are supposed to go. Not as of. There are plenty of things we could do but which one does God want us to do. What good work has God prepared ahead of time for us to do. That is the question. Joel and I are no longer our own. We don't get to chose where we live and where we work. Yes God has given us a free will and we can deny anything he has for us but we don't want to. And yes we can serve God in many ways but we both feel God has something or SOMETHINGS very specific for Joel and I. I especially feel that after Friend Ships I will start other food ministries. For the past 4 years I have been put in the food ministry and back in the food ministry over and over. Some times I TRIED to get out of it but I was always put back. And now doing the church aspect of it I love it even more. It is what I want to do for the rest of my life. What I feel God is preparing me here at Friend Ships to do now and later. BRING IT ON.

So what else. Well Joel and I were able to "JUMP SHIP" and suprise my mom and dad for their 40th anniversary. Both my sisters would be in the same area as my parents so my oldest sister flew Joel and I up just to suprise Mom and Dad and celebrate as a family. It has been about 2 years since all of us girls have been together. All my neices and nephews were there and both my sisters and brother in law. It was so much fun. I didn't want to leave. I am getting more and more close to my family. Which hasn't been, so Praise God what He is doing with my family.

So that is about it. We love all of you, sorry it has been so long. We are going to be writing more.

GOD's LOVE,
Dess

It's Been TOO long.

Hello Hello Hello,
I doubt any one is reading this any more. But you never know. I don't even know where we last ended. It has been crazy. We haven't been in the same place for more than a month since December.

So at the beginning of December Joel and I were supposed to go on vacation and see our families but things happened with the ship coming back from Israel so they flew Joel and I to the Canary Islands to meet the ship there and to help sail it back to Louisiana. We were at the Canary Islands for a week with the ship and then three weeks sailing. It was so hard and wonderful all at the same time. Hard because we were in vacation mode and then awesome because most of the crew on the ship were leaving Friend Ships right after the mission so we would not have been able to say good-bye had we been on vacation.

So we were sailing from December to January. Then From January to February we were asked to go to the Los Angeles Warehouse to take a look around and see if we wanted to stay at the warehouse perminatly. So for four weeks we stayed helped out and looked around and in the end felt it was where God was calling us next. So then we still needed to go on vacation.
That is when we drove back to Lousiana from California and then flew to Canada where we stayed with Joel's family for 4 weeks then 3 weeks with my family in Idaho/Washington. It was hard but restful and we were ready to conquer the world well the warehouse in LA.

So in April we were back in Louisiana got our Class B trucker license. Drove a big truck (not semi) to California. And have been here since the end of April beginning of May.
What an adventure eh? The funny thing is God gave me two words for my birthday. (I ask every year for God to give me a word for the year) This year it was Spontaneous Adventure. Hit that one right on the nose (But of course He did He is God)

It has been hard. Leaving our Friends and Family God provided for us the past 4 years in Louisiana. But we have stayed busy. We haven't had a weekend off since we got here. Which isn't any thing to brag about we have just been busy. The cool thing is God provided everything we needed to come down her to LA.

When we got married we didn't need anything because we lived on a ship and food was cooked for us, our laundery was done for us, and everything else a new couple starting off would need to do and have. So we recieved money instead. But it was always in the back of my mind. God some day we are going to need dishes and towels and all that other fun stuff that people start out with. Well you know what God provided once again. Should I be suprised, NO. But I am astonished how He provided. One of our best Friends Chuck and Janet had moved to Lake Charles and left everything in California so they had to buy all new things to live on. Dishes, towels, etc. Well they got everything from California to Lake Charles and they gave all their stuff they had bought in Louisiana to us. Just when we needed it. Then a friend of mine was moving from Houston back to Montana and she and her wonderful man gave us stuff we needed too. God is so awesome. He has been providing right and left. There are plenty of other testimonies but I might go into them later. Also people here are starting to get to know us and they have given us things we needed and we didn't even ask. There are days I just think and say hey we really need this and then Wam bam God provides it the next day or week with me not even asking. What an awesome God we serve.

I know this is long but there is more. SO at the warehouse we have stray Cats. Yikes they are making a mess. Pray that God will take care of them. So any way we found the first week we were here 3 kittensand then two days later we found 3 more. So we gave the latter 3 away and kept the first 3. Goodness. So we have 3 cats, one bird (that we brought with us from Louisiana, and one Dog that is a warehouse dog. Well two days ago we had a chance to get a puppy and guess what we did. Dynamite is his name and mutt is his game. Lame I know. SO we have a mutt named Dynamite who we want to train to come with us on our truck runs. I really want him to come to be a protector. I know God protects but I like having a big big dog with me. Did I mention Big he is going to be huge. His mom is half wolf half german shepard and his dad well I don't know what his dad is couldn't tell.

SO yeah that is our life in a nut shell. Crazy or what. Well there is so much more but that will be for another blog.

Love you all.
God is soooooooooooo good,
Dess

All those sleepless nights

Hi Everybody!

Well, here i am, sleepless in L.A. again. I've been having a hard time sleeping at night lately. Now, i'm having a hard time falling asleep. I think it's partly due to excitement of the road ahead. We're about to journey back to Lake Charles and then on to our vacation in Canada and Washington/Idaho. So this has got my mind reeling. Also, i've gotta load that container starting tomorrow and i'm a bit nervous about it because i'm all alone and it's all up to me. Although in many cases, i'm glad to be alone because when i mess up (which i will) no one is around to see it :) Like today, i got a tire changed down the street at a mainly hispanic shop. They all spoke spanish and i felt a little foolish. I need to be more bold and try to put some of my 3 years of spanish from high school into action. But yeah, they changed the truck tire and i brought it back to the warehouse to put it back on the truck. When i was done reinstalling it, i stepped back from the truck and realized that i'd installed it the wrong way out. The large box truck looked like it had one "monster truck" wheel because it stuck out from the truck instead of being tucked away underneath it. I did have to get Dess to come and help me take it off and switch it around, so she's the only one who knows that i did it. Man i felt silly.

Honestly though, i do enjoy working alone. It gives me peace and a feeling of accomplishment because whatever i do in a day i know that i've done. Also, i get to be hands on with work again around here because there's no one to manage. I've been preparing pallets and cargo for the container to the Philippines, i replaced the tire on the truck, i've prepared and loaded some pallets into a container for Port Mercy and lots of other odds and ends. I'm having fun. One thing about working alone is that i've got time to think. Lately i've been finding that i've been getting attacked in my thoughts though. I've been having doubts, worries, frustrations and anxieties that i normally wouldn't. It keeps me praying and seeking out God during those times though.

I have had good times working with other people too you know. Just in case any of you are reading this blog and think i only like to work alone, it's not true. I've enjoyed working with people like Dan, Jason, Matt and others. I'd probably enjoy working with my Dad and brother too, but we don't have many opportunities for that these days. Work seems to be a good bonding experience for me. I enjoy learning from the knowledgeable and teaching the less knowledgeable.

I think i'm going to sign off for now and try to get to sleep again. I just gotta shut my brain down or something. Oh well, as long as i'm productive in my sleeplessness i guess it's all good.

signing off,

joel

Yeah Vacation Is almost here!!!

Hey Guys,
It has been too long!!! Too Long for Vacation coming, too long since seeing the family, too long since anything really.

Things in Los Angeles have been good but hard. I can see this is not going to be a cake walk like I thought it was going to be. But being an on fire for the Lord person for the past 4 years I have come to realize that the really good things GOd has for us are not easy to come by and the process, well as the bible puts it, a refining fire. YOu would think after being in one place for so long (example: Friend SHips) that you wouldn't have to go through a fire after soo much time. Yeah right I can see it coming now and even feel it these past 4 weeks. New enviorement + new people + new job = Fire. Didn't they teach you that in school.

SO yeah this is what I have always wanted to do since being part of the food minstry with Friend Ships. This is the big DOG. This is where the rubber meets the road. I am going to be in charge of the churches coming and getting food. Seeing if they are reaching the people, building the kingdom, and showing people CHrist. Praying with the churches. Making sure every group that receives food from us is prayed for. We are talking about having classes for those that don't know how to reach people for Christ with food. So this is what I have always wanted to do.

It is funny how God works because for so long when I was in the food ministry at Lake CHarles all I wanted to do was be apart of a huge food minstry. Every day I would think about it and kind of not be satisfied where I was at. But what happens BOOM!!!!! EXPLOSION . . .. I get satisfied where I am at, Thanking God where I am, and what does He do bring Joel and I to Los Angeles where I have always wanted to be. Funny how that works. But Praise GOd because He knows best.

So I am in the food ministry Joel is hands on in the warehouse shipping things to other countries for churches/organizations that want to help the poor or shipping items to Friend SHips in Lake Charles so that the warehouse can be fully on the food ministry.

So that is where we stand. But in the mean time Joel and I leave on vacation in a week and a half. We are so pumped. The awesome cool thing about this is that God is making the time ZOOOOOOOM by. I mean ZOOOMMMMMMMMM baby. Because Joel has to get a 40 foot container filled for the philippines by saturday. SO time is flying because we are on a schedule.

Yeah. SO this blog was kind of crazy because I am pumped what GOd is doing and where we are going to go for vacation.

Love you all. HOpe to hear from some of you who read our blog. Matt Craven you should at least comment once if you are still reading our blog. We would love to hear from any of you.

Blessings blessings from Christ,
Dess

Back in Business

Hi Everybody,

Well, you may not be checking out our blog as regularly as you used to because we haven't been posting much. We've been moved out to L.A. as a part of Friend Ships and the computer is really old and the web server wouldn't let us use blogger for complicated reasons. So, we finally realized we could use Internet Explorer to post our blogs, so we're back!!!

All is well in our lives. As i mentioned, we're in Los Angeles for a little while. We've been here for 3 weeks and we've got 1 more week to go. From there we will be road tripping back to Lake Charles and then flying out of Houston to Canada for our much deserved and longed for vacation. 4 weeks of Canadian bliss and then 3 weeks of more relaxing in Washington with Dess' family. How exciting is that??? Very exciting!!! We can't wait.

This week is going to be a busy one for Dess and i. We've got a lot of work to do around the warehouse, cleaning up and preparing for filling a container which will be sent to the Philipines. We've also got meetings and the usual day to day stuff to do. It's so cool to realize that we'll be on vacation within 2 weeks.

For anyone in Canada who may be checking this blog and would be interesting in seeing us, drop us an email or make a comment and we'll be sure to get in touch. Home sweet home.

Okay, well, i can't write long right now, i just wanted to touch base. We'll try to get more in depth in our blogging... but no promises :)

joel

OH Yeah we are here

Hey Guys.

We had an awesome adventure. It was off the hook. The only bad part is that our family wasn't too happy about what happened and we are so sorry that you were sad we were not there but as you heard we will be coming.

God was so awesome during the whole thing. He was there every step of the way. We could not have done the journey without him.

At 10:30 we made the decision to meet the ships in the canary island at 2pm we were heading for the airport in houston. Our flight left the US at 7pm and we were in London around 10:30 am. Then we met our connecting flight and went to the canary island. Our plane had problems so we were late because they gave us a new plane. Then we met the ship and no one but the captain, facility manager, and the facility manager wife knew that we were coming.

We suprised the whole ship. It was so nice because we were able to encourage them and be a breath of fresh air to all the crew.

It was so hard because Joel and I were on vacation mode but we had to switch to spiritual warfare mode. It was so hard. The enemy was really breathing down everyone's necks on the ship. But as the bible promises He that is in you is bigger than he that is in the world. And God was bigger than anything satan could throw at us. We had women prayer meetings everynight. WE would pray most nights but twice each woman brought one praise and worship song so we could "Get our praise on" The last night we prayed was new years eve and we prayed for our friends and family members that didnt know Jesus as their personal savior. It was so good. THere were so many tears of just crying out to God for those we loved.

THere is so much to tell but when we get in person we can tell you the whole story. But can I tell you how good God is. He brought us through every step of the way. Being out to sea was so pretty. The sunsets and rises or 360 degrees and the water was the color of deep deep blue. It is undescribable. Some people were having personal problems but GOd always gave Joel and I a word of encouragement for the person or someone else had a word of encouragement from the Lord. Isn't God sooooo good.

Well we love you. And miss you and can't wait to see you.
We have new photos check them out on our Flickr sight.

Blessings,
Dess

We're BACK!!!

Hi,

I want to let you know that Dess and i have returned. That's right, we're back in the U.S. from our adventure in the Canary Islands. We flew into Tenerife de Santa Cruz to join the Spirit of Grace on her return from Israel. It was amazing how fast it all took place. I want to make sure that you know how sorry we were that we had to drop all our holiday plans. I read my mom's blog and got her reaction over a couple of days of posts. I'm glad that you accepted it graciously. All of you who were put out because of this, we're sorry. But we know that it was God's plan and that we had to do it. It's exciting because we've booked a new flight for coming to Canada on February 17th. From there we'll fly to Washington/Idaho on the 17th of March. We're already looking forward to our "next" vacation although Dess and i have agreed to not count down each individual day. Instead we're going by weeks.

Well, it's late here and we haven't had a good nights sleep for quite some time. We've both been working the 12 to 4 watch, which means we work from noon to 4pm and from midnight to 4am every day. This was our sailing schedule. Since this is our first night back in port we actually get to sleep the whole night through!! Miss you and glad that we're back in touch.

peace