I guess it's been a while again since i've posted. Dess has been doing a good job of keeping you up to date though. I guess part of me felt bad about being a bad husband and i didn't want to try to make excuses about Dess' birthday. So i just won't mention it.
So Dess has started a "myspace" page as well as our blog. You can click the link to the right if you want to check it out. Maybe you can even be her friend... She's a good friend. Although she's getting kinda addicted to it, so don't be too surprised if she has to give it up cold turkey in a few days or weeks. I love Dess and i have come to know her pretty well. There are times when she'll get convicted about something and just decide that she doesn't need it in her life anymore. If she spends too much time looking up friends, etc. on myspace i'm sure she would eventually have to give it up.
Life for me has been interesting, boring and stressful. The stress has to do with work. I've got one new girl working for me. She just got here on the weekend. Besides that i've got 2 newish guys (both less than 2 months) and Steve, a veteran of Friend Ships. I'm supposed to be getting another new crewmember at the beginning of October. For some reason new crew stress me out. I have to be more hands on with them to make sure they know what to do. They require "weekly" evaluations (which i tend to do every month or so). New crew are more prone to working hard and trying their best, but they also tend to screw up more because they don't know the 'rules'. Man i wish i could just be a supervisor of supervisors! It's a lot easier.
More stress is that we've known about a boxcar coming in from L.A. Usually when they come it's a mad scramble to empty them in 3 days so we don't have to pay extra money. Well today it arrived (and we were totally unprepared). We set up a ramp to get into it and just before i could cut the lock i was told not to open the boxcar without Jeremy. He's the guy that loaded the boxcar in L.A. This is a big relief because now we can focus our attention on making space for all the stuff in the boxcar and cleaning up the yard. Today ended up being a great day as my team of 3 (not including myself) was able to get things looking much better. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you put your mind to it.
The interesting part of my life happened on Thursday after work. Dess and i were about to leave the property when we saw two kids near the front gate. As we got closer we saw one of our crew, John, who told us that he'd found them on our property. We decided to chase them. Right away i saw that one of the boys was riding on a bike which had recently been stolen from our property. We tailed the kids for a while and then they split up. I got out of the car and made like i was going to chase one of the kids by foot. As i did this, a guy in a pickup truck was driving towards us and asked "What's wrong with you man?" I responded "Do you know that kid?" He said "Yeah". I told him "He just stole that bike off our property". The driver of the truck took off with a mean look on his face after the kid on the Friend Ships bike. Dess and i followed the younger kid around asking him questions. He was generally non-responsive and wouldn't give us straight answers. Dess explained what we at Friend Ships do and that stealing from us is taking away from people that need it. From there we went back to the ship. Well the next day i found out that the kids hadn't just been snooping around the property. I found that they had vandalized some of our buildings and cargo with spray paint. They had also broken into the helicopter hangar through a window and had rummaged through the place. They didn't damage the helicopter, but it was a freaky concept. We called in the cops. A report was filed and we learned that if they come back we can detain them until the cops arrive. That was reassuring because we didn't know what our legal right was. So security is getting beefed up. We've added more barbed wire and "No Trespassing" signs. We're getting video cameras to record some of the more precious areas. Our property is staying on "shut down" all day long, where all our gates are closed unless people are entering and exiting. Oh i forgot to mention that the kid that Dess and i followed said he was 8 years old!!! Isn't that crazy?
The boring part of my life is our day to day stuff. I don't get much satisfaction out of work right now (except it was good to see progress today). I also don't do much outside of work, so i think i'm in a bit of a rut. I don't really have any friends on or off the ship. I just feel pretty bored with myself. Dess does a good job of trying to have fun, etc. She plays games with me and makes plans for outings. It makes life more exciting.
I guess that's all i got for today. I hope you are well and that you are feeling like you are a part of our lives, even in our absense. We miss you.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Saturday, September 16, 2006
How I became a Full-On Christian
I wanted to do this life story thing because I was looking at myspace and found a ton of friends from high school and college. Some I really wanted to tell about my life change and others I didn't want finding out. This was frustrating because I believe I should always want to tell anyone and every one about Jesus in my life. What He has done for me and to me. What I am doing to further the Kingdom of God. So many mixed emotions. I would probably be labeled by a lot of people from my high school and college now as a "Freak" So any way here it is. How I became a Freak.
I went to college to get my degree in biology. Don't know what I was going to do with that but my dad put the desire in me by always bring up fasinating science stories. I also was a volleyball player in college. Did sports a total of 9 years. Got all american my freshman year of college. Was pretty pumped about life. I graduated from my first college and went on to get my bachelors. That is when it all came crashing down. They put me on the volley ball team at my new college started for the first month or so. Then I got hurt and was out for 3 weeks. They never put me back in the game again. Well not as a starter on the top team but as a bench warmer on the lowest team. I was embarressed lost my identy as most atheletes do when they are done with playing any sport. My grades went down. every thing came crashing down. I had been reading my bible every night and praying for 5 minutes a day. Thought I was a good Christian. So when my second college went wrong I thought I had picked the wrong one.
So for the first time I saught God out with all my heart. I was seeking Him to tell me which college to go to. So I prayed and fasted. No one ever taught me about fasting I guess I read it in the bible some where. One day as I was praying and fasting during lunch, seeking God's advice He gave me one word. "Volunteer" In my heart I knew it meant some sort of sacrifice would have to be made on my part. "Oh God this college is fine I love it here I am really fine" As soon as I started saying those words the peace left me that came with the word from God. I knew I had to obey God or regret it.
I thought I was only going to take a semester off from school. I looked around on the internet. All the places I looked at to volunteer said I had to commit for one year and pay 5,000 to 20,000 dollars. I had some money to go some places but I didn't want to commit for a year. My parents heard from a friend about Friend Ships and recommend I look it up online. With Friend Ships you can come for as long or little as you like and you only have to pay to get down there. I was hooked. Sent in my application. They accepted me. I went with the intentions of staying for 2 and 1/2 months.
It was awesome. I had never been so close to God. The ministry showed me what true faith was. When I read my bible I saw things I had never seen before. It was as if someone gave me glasses for the first time and I could actually read. 3 weeks into it I was cleaning the showers and felt something was off. I thought I had sinned against God. "God what is it. I am sorry if I have made you mad. Forgive me if I have sinned against you." Then I was like "Or do you want to tell me something?" "I want you to stay and you will go on the Israel trip." - God replied "Oh no God I will go to college get my degree and then come back" But of course I stayed. For the Israel trip we were going to bring a ship load of humanitarian aid to Israel to give to groups that were helping the immigrants in the country. I didn't have a chance the crew list was full. Needless to say I was the last one to be put on the list in the end and I went to Israel. It was awesome I was so blessed to be able to go. (That is another story) During the Israel trip is when Joel and I started dating. 3 weeks later we were engaged 4 months after that married.
We both had been with one other person but through God's help and cleansing us of our sin we stayed pure between the two of us until our wedding night. It was awesomely hard but we just kissed and held hands until we go married. God really did give us a second chance on our wedding night. What and awesome God.
Since then so much has happened. Joel and I have both changed a lot. My relationship with Jesus, God and Holy Spirit is one I would never trade. It is so real and full of love. God has blessed us time and time again even when we don't deserve it. And the funny thing is I didn't even know I was a missionary until 6 months of being at Friend Ships. I didn't even know what a missioanry was. I thought they were all in Africa or something.
We are praying for the future. We are still at Friend Ships until some time in the middle or end of 2007. Joel commited to 7 years at Friend Ships. It will be up in 2007. We are excited for the future and what God holds for us.
So that is Me and God in a nut shell. There is so much more but I need to sleep for Joel and I have weekend duty this weekend. Living on a ship is something I never even dreamed of and it comes with responsiblities and something new all the time.
Love ya'll Be blessed,
Dess Butler
I went to college to get my degree in biology. Don't know what I was going to do with that but my dad put the desire in me by always bring up fasinating science stories. I also was a volleyball player in college. Did sports a total of 9 years. Got all american my freshman year of college. Was pretty pumped about life. I graduated from my first college and went on to get my bachelors. That is when it all came crashing down. They put me on the volley ball team at my new college started for the first month or so. Then I got hurt and was out for 3 weeks. They never put me back in the game again. Well not as a starter on the top team but as a bench warmer on the lowest team. I was embarressed lost my identy as most atheletes do when they are done with playing any sport. My grades went down. every thing came crashing down. I had been reading my bible every night and praying for 5 minutes a day. Thought I was a good Christian. So when my second college went wrong I thought I had picked the wrong one.
So for the first time I saught God out with all my heart. I was seeking Him to tell me which college to go to. So I prayed and fasted. No one ever taught me about fasting I guess I read it in the bible some where. One day as I was praying and fasting during lunch, seeking God's advice He gave me one word. "Volunteer" In my heart I knew it meant some sort of sacrifice would have to be made on my part. "Oh God this college is fine I love it here I am really fine" As soon as I started saying those words the peace left me that came with the word from God. I knew I had to obey God or regret it.
I thought I was only going to take a semester off from school. I looked around on the internet. All the places I looked at to volunteer said I had to commit for one year and pay 5,000 to 20,000 dollars. I had some money to go some places but I didn't want to commit for a year. My parents heard from a friend about Friend Ships and recommend I look it up online. With Friend Ships you can come for as long or little as you like and you only have to pay to get down there. I was hooked. Sent in my application. They accepted me. I went with the intentions of staying for 2 and 1/2 months.
It was awesome. I had never been so close to God. The ministry showed me what true faith was. When I read my bible I saw things I had never seen before. It was as if someone gave me glasses for the first time and I could actually read. 3 weeks into it I was cleaning the showers and felt something was off. I thought I had sinned against God. "God what is it. I am sorry if I have made you mad. Forgive me if I have sinned against you." Then I was like "Or do you want to tell me something?" "I want you to stay and you will go on the Israel trip." - God replied "Oh no God I will go to college get my degree and then come back" But of course I stayed. For the Israel trip we were going to bring a ship load of humanitarian aid to Israel to give to groups that were helping the immigrants in the country. I didn't have a chance the crew list was full. Needless to say I was the last one to be put on the list in the end and I went to Israel. It was awesome I was so blessed to be able to go. (That is another story) During the Israel trip is when Joel and I started dating. 3 weeks later we were engaged 4 months after that married.
We both had been with one other person but through God's help and cleansing us of our sin we stayed pure between the two of us until our wedding night. It was awesomely hard but we just kissed and held hands until we go married. God really did give us a second chance on our wedding night. What and awesome God.
Since then so much has happened. Joel and I have both changed a lot. My relationship with Jesus, God and Holy Spirit is one I would never trade. It is so real and full of love. God has blessed us time and time again even when we don't deserve it. And the funny thing is I didn't even know I was a missionary until 6 months of being at Friend Ships. I didn't even know what a missioanry was. I thought they were all in Africa or something.
We are praying for the future. We are still at Friend Ships until some time in the middle or end of 2007. Joel commited to 7 years at Friend Ships. It will be up in 2007. We are excited for the future and what God holds for us.
So that is Me and God in a nut shell. There is so much more but I need to sleep for Joel and I have weekend duty this weekend. Living on a ship is something I never even dreamed of and it comes with responsiblities and something new all the time.
Love ya'll Be blessed,
Dess Butler
Friday, September 15, 2006
The Birthday Lessons
God has taught me a lot this week. Things have calmed down since the Grace has left for Israel which is really nice. When the crew left for Haiti it was more hectic so this time we are just kickin it. Don't worry we are still doing our jobs but it is really quiet here at Port Mercy.
So this week was my birthday. Thank you every one who participated in making it so great. I got wonderful things from people money, cards, presents. God really blessed me indeed but in the midst of the blessing I was a brat. Can I tell you the truth. Now if I was in a African-American church some one in the audience would say "COME ON PASTOR COME ON. PREACH IT LIKE IT IS." Man I miss VIP (Victory in Praise) in Stockton California. Can I get a "Get your praise on"
Any way so God really blessed me. With calls and love from people. But I got really disappointed when Joel didn't do what he had done for the past two years. Usually he wakes up earlier than me and does something to suprise me. So when he didn't I was totally bummed but then I was like no Joel has something don't worry it wil come. So all day more blessings came in. And then it was the end of the day for work and I was getting my hopes up. "Oh I know Joel has something for me." But can I tell you I also had plan B. (Plan B: If Joel had nothing planned and wanted to eat on the ship for my birthday I was going to grab my very very very good friend Kippin Johnson, Dress up in a fabulous dress she got me, and go out on the town with out Joel.) Needless to say he had plans to go out. So when we were getting ready I was scoping the room for a present or a card from him. Nothing, Nada, Nothing. So we were getting ready and he got dressed in a Tux (HE LOOKED GOOOOOOOOOOOOD) and I got dressed in my new dress Kippin gave me. While he was getting dress I was thinking oh there is probably a gift card in his pocket for me.
So we went out to one of my favorite restaurant in town, O'Charly's. It was fabulous. During dinner I brought up about the morning and how I was disappointed and then I asked if he had his present for me. Joel said . . .. NO. He didn't have a present for me. I almost started craying right there in the middle of the restaurant. I don't know why I get so excited for presents on my birthday. Well actually I was just expecting a present from Joel and that was it. Or something. So I didn't think about it for the rest of the night till we got back to our room. Then I started freaking out (being a brat) in my mind. I jumped in bed and starting ragging in my head.
How dare Joel not get me something. I am going to cry cry cry. He knows I love presents and suprises for my birthday. I deserve better than this. First the Israel trip which I trust God in and now no good birthday. This is horrible. (During this time Joel was getting ready for bed and my back was facing him and my front was facing the wall.
All of a sudden God started rebuking me like no other. "Dess that is enough. Don't you dare show Joel how you feel. He feels bad enough about this. There will be times where he will really mess up with you and I will be on your side to defend you but not this time. You are having a pity party stop it this second. Don't say a word to Joel about this. Say you love him and go to bed with out throwing a fit" I did what God told me to do. Told Joel I loved him and went to sleep.
You would have thought that would be enough. All the other times God has rebuked me I do a 180 and stop what I am doing. Oh no not for this. The next morning I got up to spend my God time and I started going at it again.
This Time I was crying and weeping, weeping and crying. OH this isn't fair. Whoa as me. Cry cry, fuss fuss me me me. This time God was more upset. "Dess that enough. You are exalting yourself and only thinking about you. If you were humbling yourself I would have sympathy towards you. You need to be humble. The verse went through my head "God gives grace to the humble but opposes the proud." Then God said so kindly. How many husbands would get dressed in a tux and take their wives out for dinner. Name some couples. I tried but I couldn't think of a single couple. I named both my sisters and my mom for never having that in their lives. I knew God was right. Even after all that I told God: This is not fair. But I wanted to humble myself. How Do I humble myself. God then started softening my heart and changing it to be humble. I haven't grumbled and complained since then and have felt very blessed about my birthday and how well Joel treated me.
That morning when Joel and I went to morning refreshing we were shown a video of one year after Katrina and how many people were with out. How they had lost everything in the storm and were still rebuilding their lives. I felt worse after watching the video and realizing what a brat I was for my birthday. I then asked God to forgive me and humble me even more. I have never called God unfair before that day and I did it in a very poor manner. For God is never unfair. He is always just and right in everything He does and will always be just and right.
So that was my birthday lessons. I learned even more how blessed I really am. With so many people to love me. How many people I have in my life that are not just a pass byer but really love me. I also realzied even more that I have the most wonderful Husband in the world who treats me like a queen. More than many women could even hope for. I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and doesn't send the lighting bolts to strike me down when I am bad but even in the midst of my tanturm he will still talk to me in Kindness though I do not deserve it. I have also learned where in my life I need to grow up and humble myself. So this year's birthday was rich in lessons and in love.
I hope this doesn't totally shock you guys about me. I know I am shock that I would ever act this way but I hope some one can learn from this.
Have a blessed day. And let that person that you see every day know how special they really are and how much you do appreciate them.
Love all of you,
Dess
PS can I say this has been the hardest blog to put out for me sinec it was so raw and full of the sinnful me. Yikes Sorry if it scared you guys and you never want to talk to me again. Totally understand.
So this week was my birthday. Thank you every one who participated in making it so great. I got wonderful things from people money, cards, presents. God really blessed me indeed but in the midst of the blessing I was a brat. Can I tell you the truth. Now if I was in a African-American church some one in the audience would say "COME ON PASTOR COME ON. PREACH IT LIKE IT IS." Man I miss VIP (Victory in Praise) in Stockton California. Can I get a "Get your praise on"
Any way so God really blessed me. With calls and love from people. But I got really disappointed when Joel didn't do what he had done for the past two years. Usually he wakes up earlier than me and does something to suprise me. So when he didn't I was totally bummed but then I was like no Joel has something don't worry it wil come. So all day more blessings came in. And then it was the end of the day for work and I was getting my hopes up. "Oh I know Joel has something for me." But can I tell you I also had plan B. (Plan B: If Joel had nothing planned and wanted to eat on the ship for my birthday I was going to grab my very very very good friend Kippin Johnson, Dress up in a fabulous dress she got me, and go out on the town with out Joel.) Needless to say he had plans to go out. So when we were getting ready I was scoping the room for a present or a card from him. Nothing, Nada, Nothing. So we were getting ready and he got dressed in a Tux (HE LOOKED GOOOOOOOOOOOOD) and I got dressed in my new dress Kippin gave me. While he was getting dress I was thinking oh there is probably a gift card in his pocket for me.
So we went out to one of my favorite restaurant in town, O'Charly's. It was fabulous. During dinner I brought up about the morning and how I was disappointed and then I asked if he had his present for me. Joel said . . .. NO. He didn't have a present for me. I almost started craying right there in the middle of the restaurant. I don't know why I get so excited for presents on my birthday. Well actually I was just expecting a present from Joel and that was it. Or something. So I didn't think about it for the rest of the night till we got back to our room. Then I started freaking out (being a brat) in my mind. I jumped in bed and starting ragging in my head.
How dare Joel not get me something. I am going to cry cry cry. He knows I love presents and suprises for my birthday. I deserve better than this. First the Israel trip which I trust God in and now no good birthday. This is horrible. (During this time Joel was getting ready for bed and my back was facing him and my front was facing the wall.
All of a sudden God started rebuking me like no other. "Dess that is enough. Don't you dare show Joel how you feel. He feels bad enough about this. There will be times where he will really mess up with you and I will be on your side to defend you but not this time. You are having a pity party stop it this second. Don't say a word to Joel about this. Say you love him and go to bed with out throwing a fit" I did what God told me to do. Told Joel I loved him and went to sleep.
You would have thought that would be enough. All the other times God has rebuked me I do a 180 and stop what I am doing. Oh no not for this. The next morning I got up to spend my God time and I started going at it again.
This Time I was crying and weeping, weeping and crying. OH this isn't fair. Whoa as me. Cry cry, fuss fuss me me me. This time God was more upset. "Dess that enough. You are exalting yourself and only thinking about you. If you were humbling yourself I would have sympathy towards you. You need to be humble. The verse went through my head "God gives grace to the humble but opposes the proud." Then God said so kindly. How many husbands would get dressed in a tux and take their wives out for dinner. Name some couples. I tried but I couldn't think of a single couple. I named both my sisters and my mom for never having that in their lives. I knew God was right. Even after all that I told God: This is not fair. But I wanted to humble myself. How Do I humble myself. God then started softening my heart and changing it to be humble. I haven't grumbled and complained since then and have felt very blessed about my birthday and how well Joel treated me.
That morning when Joel and I went to morning refreshing we were shown a video of one year after Katrina and how many people were with out. How they had lost everything in the storm and were still rebuilding their lives. I felt worse after watching the video and realizing what a brat I was for my birthday. I then asked God to forgive me and humble me even more. I have never called God unfair before that day and I did it in a very poor manner. For God is never unfair. He is always just and right in everything He does and will always be just and right.
So that was my birthday lessons. I learned even more how blessed I really am. With so many people to love me. How many people I have in my life that are not just a pass byer but really love me. I also realzied even more that I have the most wonderful Husband in the world who treats me like a queen. More than many women could even hope for. I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and doesn't send the lighting bolts to strike me down when I am bad but even in the midst of my tanturm he will still talk to me in Kindness though I do not deserve it. I have also learned where in my life I need to grow up and humble myself. So this year's birthday was rich in lessons and in love.
I hope this doesn't totally shock you guys about me. I know I am shock that I would ever act this way but I hope some one can learn from this.
Have a blessed day. And let that person that you see every day know how special they really are and how much you do appreciate them.
Love all of you,
Dess
PS can I say this has been the hardest blog to put out for me sinec it was so raw and full of the sinnful me. Yikes Sorry if it scared you guys and you never want to talk to me again. Totally understand.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Immigration Interview
Hello Everyone,
Joel did an excellent job of updating ya'll but he didn't give a detailed description of our interview. Looking back it was pretty funny.
We met our lawyer for the first time 30 minutes before our interview. I thought this was not a good thing but it didn't turn out to be a bad thing. She didn't really speak or defend us. She didn't have to. She was with us if there were any questions about the documentation. So Cynthia (our lawyer) said it usual runs 30 minutes to an hour late to getting in the interview. She was completely right. While the three of us were waiting we got to know Cynthia a bit better. Learned that she was getting married in December. She told us a bit about her job what she liked what she didn't like.
Then we went into the interview. Our Lady immigration officer looked very cross. Not warm and fuzzy at all. The first question that came out of the immigration officer's mouth was "Do you have your ID? Please pull it out" I thought she was just talking to Joel. Oh no she turned to me and said "You too" DANG IT. The first question to the test and I failed. "Mine is in the car." "Well go get it." It sounds like an easy answer but Janet and Chuck had taken off and I didn't know where they were. Good thing we all had cell phones. The only probably was we had their number in the cell but not the area code because in
Then came the questions. The immigration officer asked the same questions to Joel that he had answered on the application we had sent in March of 2005. Then she asked if we lived in a house. I answer for Joel "no on a ship." I apologized to Joel and said go ahead answer. So he did. Then she asked if we had the deed to the ship. Of course we don't. So Joel started explaining what we did. She then asked do you have a car together, this together that together. All we had were bank statements. Then we gave her a letter that Mary, Joel’s boss had written for the both of us. Stating we didn't need much money to do what we did and explaining what we did.
She then said "let me see pictures of your travels together" SO I got out the pictures and showed her. But the funny thing is in my mind I was convinced that she needed to see pictures of the ship so she would understand why we don't have paperwork in our name to the ship. So I would pass by the couple pictures and show her the ship. "There's the ship, oh and there, and that's the ship, and right there." Joel in his head was thinking "What on earth is Dess doing she is passing all the couple pictures. Why is she showing the ship?" Then I said to the officer "Oh I am sorry you can flip through for yourself" She started flipping really fast. So I saw another picture of the ship she needed to see "Oh you missed this picture of the ship." She got done flipping through the pictures grabbed Joel’s passport and stamped it with a seal of approval. It was quick and easy. We thanked Cynthia and went on our way with Chuck and Janet.
It was pretty funny once you think about it. Joel wasn't too happy during the interview. But you can't please every one. I think in the next blog I will put pictures of the ship so you can get a good idea how great Joel's and my relationship is ;).
Ship lover,
Dess
Friday, September 08, 2006
Feelings
Hi Everyone,
Well, it's been quite a long time since i've posted. I remember thinking about posting something after Dess and my anniversary, but never got around to it. I thought about writing something before the long hours of loading came into effect, but got too busy doing other stuff. Then i thought about writing around the time of our immigration stuff, but didn't want to. Now i've run out of excuses and i'm going to write.
As Dess has mentioned, this has been an emotional draining time for both of us. The extended working hours (which means less time with each other and God), the hope of going on the Israel trip, work frustrations and immigration all culminated into a big emotional mess. In some ways it feels like we're past it, but in others we're still emotionally involved. Talking with our family helps out a lot. Just knowing that there are people that we can open up to that understand us. Here at Friend Ships, we live in a community, but sometimes you have to keep your distance. I don't really want to get close to the people who are working for me. So it's been a tumultuous time, but we're getting over it.
Facts, Facts, Facts: For those of you who don't know, I am now officially a conditional permanent resident of the U.S. It's pretty exciting actually. The interview was a snap. Everything was in order because of our lawyer. All our paper work was right and we only had about a 10 minute interview. I don't know if she could tell right away that we were in love or what, but it was awesome. Friends of ours, Chuck and Janet, drove us to New Orleans the day before and paid for our hotel and dining. They prayed for us the whole day and then drove us back to Lake Charles when we were done. They were a huge blessing to us. Just a little f.y.i. we aren't completely done with immigration stuff. We've gotta go back in 2 years for one more interview, just to make sure we are still married. No problem.
The Spirit of Grace has left for Israel and we're definitely not on it. If you are interested in checking out the progress, you can check out www.friendships.org or follow the link on our site. Besides that, life at Friend Ships has slowed down quite a bit. We are taking a much more relaxed pace now that the ship has left. Also, i'm down to a crew of 2 under me, so we can't get near as much done. This is nice in a way. Although when it comes to work, it can feel unfulfilling at times. But we press on and know that there will be always be good days and bad days no matter where we are.
Dess' birthday is coming up for those who may not know. Her birthday is Sept. 13th. I know that Dess loves celebrations, surprises and all that. She's having a joint birthday party on the ship with her friend Kippin. Kippin's birthday is the 28th, but she is leaving before then, so they are having a party earlier. Our anniversary celebration was pretty fun. I hope you've checked out our flickr photo site to see some of the things we did. The Acadian village was fun. It would've been cooler if there were people dressed up in authentic clothes giving the tour, but the self guided tour was interesting too. Especially when we had to face the huge geese at the beginning, that really spiced up the village.
Well, i hope that i can get back into the habit of writing at least once a week on this blog. I don't really have the old excuses anymore, so i'd better. I know that it's one way for you to stay a part of our lives.
joel
Well, it's been quite a long time since i've posted. I remember thinking about posting something after Dess and my anniversary, but never got around to it. I thought about writing something before the long hours of loading came into effect, but got too busy doing other stuff. Then i thought about writing around the time of our immigration stuff, but didn't want to. Now i've run out of excuses and i'm going to write.
As Dess has mentioned, this has been an emotional draining time for both of us. The extended working hours (which means less time with each other and God), the hope of going on the Israel trip, work frustrations and immigration all culminated into a big emotional mess. In some ways it feels like we're past it, but in others we're still emotionally involved. Talking with our family helps out a lot. Just knowing that there are people that we can open up to that understand us. Here at Friend Ships, we live in a community, but sometimes you have to keep your distance. I don't really want to get close to the people who are working for me. So it's been a tumultuous time, but we're getting over it.
Facts, Facts, Facts: For those of you who don't know, I am now officially a conditional permanent resident of the U.S. It's pretty exciting actually. The interview was a snap. Everything was in order because of our lawyer. All our paper work was right and we only had about a 10 minute interview. I don't know if she could tell right away that we were in love or what, but it was awesome. Friends of ours, Chuck and Janet, drove us to New Orleans the day before and paid for our hotel and dining. They prayed for us the whole day and then drove us back to Lake Charles when we were done. They were a huge blessing to us. Just a little f.y.i. we aren't completely done with immigration stuff. We've gotta go back in 2 years for one more interview, just to make sure we are still married. No problem.
The Spirit of Grace has left for Israel and we're definitely not on it. If you are interested in checking out the progress, you can check out www.friendships.org or follow the link on our site. Besides that, life at Friend Ships has slowed down quite a bit. We are taking a much more relaxed pace now that the ship has left. Also, i'm down to a crew of 2 under me, so we can't get near as much done. This is nice in a way. Although when it comes to work, it can feel unfulfilling at times. But we press on and know that there will be always be good days and bad days no matter where we are.
Dess' birthday is coming up for those who may not know. Her birthday is Sept. 13th. I know that Dess loves celebrations, surprises and all that. She's having a joint birthday party on the ship with her friend Kippin. Kippin's birthday is the 28th, but she is leaving before then, so they are having a party earlier. Our anniversary celebration was pretty fun. I hope you've checked out our flickr photo site to see some of the things we did. The Acadian village was fun. It would've been cooler if there were people dressed up in authentic clothes giving the tour, but the self guided tour was interesting too. Especially when we had to face the huge geese at the beginning, that really spiced up the village.
Well, i hope that i can get back into the habit of writing at least once a week on this blog. I don't really have the old excuses anymore, so i'd better. I know that it's one way for you to stay a part of our lives.
joel
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Breaking up is Hard to do
Hello Everyone,
I hope all is well. For Joel and I we are hurting really badly in our hearts. (no we are not breaking up) Most of our crew is leaving for Israel today. The sad thing is there is only 4 more days until Joels and my immigration interview after our interview we can leave to any country we want. So we are left behind from going to Israel. The only thing I can describe it as, is the feeling of breaking up with your first love. The pain you feel every time you see them. The looking back and your expectations.
It is hard and painful. I do wish they were gone already. Looking at the ship and people that are still here that are going to Israel is like a knife in the heart. Joel and I have huge hearts to help the poor and needy. We love Israel. We love any country but we love Israel.
I want to cry I want to bawl but God said not to cry. Don't know if he will let me but Father knows that is best.
It is so complicated. Our interview is in 4 days, God can move mountains why not hold up a ship. Or why not have our interview at the end of september so that we would of had less expectations to go to Israel. Actually my true question to God is this. In Psalms it says if you delight in the Lord he will give you the desires of your heart. Most people thinks that means if you want a car he will give it to you. It actually means when you delight in God he changes your heart to have desires that He has for things. Like blessing Israel. So I am like God you gave me this Desire. (I know on my own achord I would never want to go to a land that is in the middle of war or be on a ship with 46 other people for 30 days not being able to get off) So since I delight in you why do you give me a desire I can not have as of now. Or are you going to make a way.
The most awesome thing is I am not mad or hurt at God. Or anger frustrated jealous; this situation has made me grow and trust God more. I trust God's decisions and His motives. I trust God if he wants me to stay. I say God you give and take away but I will still say BLESSED BE YOUR NAME. For even if I don't acknowledge you are good, you still are. SO I will say GOD YOU ARE GOOD. Thank you thank you. I guess my prayer right now is that Other people would see what JOel and I are going through and still call God Good as we are.
I read Sarah's blog and it made me think why does God do such things. I feel in a sense Sarah Joel and I are asking the same questions to God but going through different things. We may not have the same emotional feelings or the same situtation but I do think we are asking God similar questions. Why God do you allow other people to go through things we want to when it looks like we could handle it better than they could. Our motives are pure and we have all the right things needed to do what we have in our hearts to do while other people don't have the right movitives or it looks like they can not handle it why do they get to go through the very thing we want to do.
I guess I can say from my prospective is God you know what is best. may I bless and honor your decisions you make for my life. For when I said GOd I believe in Jesus and I want to have him be my Lord (boss) for the rest of my life I gave up all rights to chose where I would go what I would say and do. Now God gives us choices but if he says go here I must go.
Does it hurt to do God's will at times. Heck yeah. any way I could go on and on. But Sarah I guess what I wanted to say is: I am feeling for you. I don't know exactly what you are going through I am not feeling your exact feelings but I feel for you and will pray for you and what you and paul are going through.
Is God Fair. Yes. Does it look like He is fair No. Am I glad it looks like He is not fair. Heck yeah or I would think all of us would go to Hell
Love you all. Thank you for your prayers.
GOD IS GOOD,
The Butlers
I hope all is well. For Joel and I we are hurting really badly in our hearts. (no we are not breaking up) Most of our crew is leaving for Israel today. The sad thing is there is only 4 more days until Joels and my immigration interview after our interview we can leave to any country we want. So we are left behind from going to Israel. The only thing I can describe it as, is the feeling of breaking up with your first love. The pain you feel every time you see them. The looking back and your expectations.
It is hard and painful. I do wish they were gone already. Looking at the ship and people that are still here that are going to Israel is like a knife in the heart. Joel and I have huge hearts to help the poor and needy. We love Israel. We love any country but we love Israel.
I want to cry I want to bawl but God said not to cry. Don't know if he will let me but Father knows that is best.
It is so complicated. Our interview is in 4 days, God can move mountains why not hold up a ship. Or why not have our interview at the end of september so that we would of had less expectations to go to Israel. Actually my true question to God is this. In Psalms it says if you delight in the Lord he will give you the desires of your heart. Most people thinks that means if you want a car he will give it to you. It actually means when you delight in God he changes your heart to have desires that He has for things. Like blessing Israel. So I am like God you gave me this Desire. (I know on my own achord I would never want to go to a land that is in the middle of war or be on a ship with 46 other people for 30 days not being able to get off) So since I delight in you why do you give me a desire I can not have as of now. Or are you going to make a way.
The most awesome thing is I am not mad or hurt at God. Or anger frustrated jealous; this situation has made me grow and trust God more. I trust God's decisions and His motives. I trust God if he wants me to stay. I say God you give and take away but I will still say BLESSED BE YOUR NAME. For even if I don't acknowledge you are good, you still are. SO I will say GOD YOU ARE GOOD. Thank you thank you. I guess my prayer right now is that Other people would see what JOel and I are going through and still call God Good as we are.
I read Sarah's blog and it made me think why does God do such things. I feel in a sense Sarah Joel and I are asking the same questions to God but going through different things. We may not have the same emotional feelings or the same situtation but I do think we are asking God similar questions. Why God do you allow other people to go through things we want to when it looks like we could handle it better than they could. Our motives are pure and we have all the right things needed to do what we have in our hearts to do while other people don't have the right movitives or it looks like they can not handle it why do they get to go through the very thing we want to do.
I guess I can say from my prospective is God you know what is best. may I bless and honor your decisions you make for my life. For when I said GOd I believe in Jesus and I want to have him be my Lord (boss) for the rest of my life I gave up all rights to chose where I would go what I would say and do. Now God gives us choices but if he says go here I must go.
Does it hurt to do God's will at times. Heck yeah. any way I could go on and on. But Sarah I guess what I wanted to say is: I am feeling for you. I don't know exactly what you are going through I am not feeling your exact feelings but I feel for you and will pray for you and what you and paul are going through.
Is God Fair. Yes. Does it look like He is fair No. Am I glad it looks like He is not fair. Heck yeah or I would think all of us would go to Hell
Love you all. Thank you for your prayers.
GOD IS GOOD,
The Butlers
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