Hey,
Dess is writing on the blog right now, so i thought i'd add a little bit of my own life story. I figure this will be the best time because we've got 2 ships leaving for Haiti in 10 days so life is going to get hectic quick. We haven't really done much in the way of overtime yet, which is really nice. I did have to work one full day Saturday, but that wasn't too bad. Lately though, i've been feeling more tired and irritable. I guess i've just gotta get over myself.
With this trip, i'm not too involved because it doesn't involve my departments too much. Yes, it does involve the warehouse because we are taking SOME cargo, but not much more than a dozen pallets or so. And it does involved the mechanics because there is equipment that we need to get going. But, as a whole, i'm able to stay partially distant and i kind of like it. The thing which i find difficult for me is that i've got a new guy working in the warehouse who wants to be a part of all the action for Haiti. He's going on the trip, but he wants to be more involved in the preparations. So, when he has to do warehouse stuff that doesn't pertain to Haiti, he isn't really interested and doesn't work at it with all his heart. It's tough to work with someone and feel like they aren't really doing anything. I'm trying to not get resentful about it. I know he's new and just wants to be involved in the "fun stuff" like loading a ship.
So, life is going on. I came to the realization the other day that i think i've got people in my life who i'm at the point of considering "ex-friends". The person who made this list in my mind was old good buddy Dan Jamison. I haven't seen or talked to that guy in what seems like forever. It's been a year since i talked with him last. It's sad cause all my memories of him are growing distant. I have no real idea of what's going on in his life. I don't want to not know what's going on, but the long distance thing just didn't seem to work out. Neither one of us kept it up. It's enough to make me cry. I'm down to having no close personal friends here at Friend Ships. I live in a community with about 50 other people and have my wife as my sole companion. There have been so many people who have come and gone. The last guy who i was friends with that left, Matt, has been good about keeping in contact. I think he's still interested in hearing what's happening at Friend Ships and in my life. It's just pretty amazing how soon after leaving Friend Ships that people just kind of loose contact.
Well, i don't really have much to say today. I just am waiting mostly for Dess. She must be giving you a lot of information to be writing this long. I hope you enjoy our updates.
joel
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Got Milk!!!
Last Friday was so awesome. I had the best and busiest day of my life. Around 9:30 as I was doing my normal drop offs a milk truck to one of the companies that donates to us came in unexpectedly. They didn't call and let any one know they were coming. Including me who is in charge of the food ministry and when people donate. Well they dropped of 138 crates of milk. Which is 32 to 36 pounds per crate. Our galley(kitchen ladies) kept as much as they could for the up coming mission trip to Haiti and from there it was up to me to decide where the rest of it goes. I decided that giving it out to the neighborhood would be the best bet. But since the Haiti trip is May 1st and we are short handed as it is I was only allowed 2 other guys to come with me and distribute it out. It was really awesome but by lunch time one of the guys got hurt and could not come with us any more. This actually turned out to be a blessing because we took him back during lunch and made an announcement that any one that wanted to give out milk for 30 minutes could come with us and do so. 6 people gave up their lunch break to give out to the community. AFter the 3o minutes me and the one other guy who was not hurt went back and and delivered the rest of the milk that we had left.
We were done by 3pm and came back to eat and clean up. He went in to get his food while I stayed for a minute to clean up the truck. As soon as he had gone I got a call for the Milk company again. They said they had "some" milk left and if I wanted to come get it. I was like "I can handle 20 maybe even 30 more crates of milk. No problem." We hadn't given out to the shelters yet. I could give that much away easy. I went there and to my "great" suprise they didn't have 20 or 30 crates for me but 200+ crates. I was panicking in my head but I had said yes and knew I couldn't say no to this great blessing. I came back to Port Mercy with 200 crates and went to the head mama Mary asking her that if after work which was in 1 & 1/2 hours if I could bring a group of people with me and give out to the community. She didn't think any one would want to at first but when I told her that 6 people left their lunch break and that other people were disappointed they couldn't come she said go for it.
So I told the crew if any one wanted to come give out milk to meet me at 5:30. So at 5 I went to fuel up the truck since it was empty and to my suprise one of the machnics was doing work on it that needed to be done. I said uh Steve when you gonna be done. He said well I just got started how's about 10 minutes I was like "sure fine . .. where's your gas cans" So I ran to Wal-mart in a hurry of course.
At the gas area there was a lady there asking for money. Her story was that she was from New Orleans and didn't have enough money to get there. When I heard her tell some one this I instantly thought of my college friend who would use the same voice to get out of a traffic ticket or get something she wanted from some one. Luckily she tried to approach me twice but saw that i was in a hurry and not to bother with me. I thought to my self "I don't have money on me but if I did would I have pitty on this woman and give her money" As I was running around paying and getting gas I heard many of the customers talk about her "yeah right she needs money where is her car" or "I don't believe that woman really needs money I think she is playing" Well I left with out giving her any thing
So when I got back, steve was still working on the truck. "Hey steve you done" "Well I am but I can't find where this tube goes." AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I screamed in frustration and stress. Steve then had me drive the Truck out in the sun to see better. I was getting so upset I wanted to cry. Danette called and asked where I was she said It was 5:40 and asked how much longer I was going to be I said 5 to 10 minutes. I got of the phone and became more upset ready to cry at any second. Then God spoke really clearly to me and said "Praise me" Of course I didn't feel like it but God said it again "You need to Praise me Dess'' I started Praising God. God you know what you are awesome I love you so much. As soon as I started Praising Him steve said Found it. I was off and running. When I got to where everyone was they were gone. They had all decided to go for dinner. When they started coming back down they said can we eat I said I drive slow enough just get in the truck. We all were on our way. I wanted to get to a certain part of town but on our way there I saw a huge family celebrating Good Friday. I stopped and told the crew to get out really quick and give them milk. They got out quick but didn't get in quick. We were losing day light ours and the milk was staying out longer. I said we got to go two guys motioned me on ward. I drove slow hoping they would run and catch up but they never did. So we were down two and finally made it to the place we needed to be. It was awesome we gave out so much milk. God really provide the perfect time to give us the milk. In Louisiana Easter is huge. Much bigger than where I am from. On each block there were about two huge groups that had gotten together for the holidays on their lawn. We were able to be more affective this way and wish then a blessed resurrection day.
In the middle of where we wanted to be I saw the woman that had been asking for money at the gas station. I was blown away. She was sitting out side either her place or her friends place enjoying the day. I wasn't passing out milk because I was driving, taking pictures, and keeping people together as much as possible. So I jumped out so she would recognize me. And she did. I was so glad that the Lord had set it up the way he did. That she saw how busy I was trying to get gas and then she saw why I was so busy by wanting to give out milk to the neighborhood. It was awesome I am glad it was such a testimony. Our peole gave her house milk and asked if they wanted prayer or wished them a great resurrection day. How awesome is that.
So our crew got done at 8 at night with all the milk given out it was awesome. God was so good. We all had a great time. I learned so much that day. Here are some pictures of us giving out the milk and the kids flocking to the truck.
So first the kids were getting milk for them and their families. Then they came back to give to their neighbors.
Aren't they so cute and wonderful. What a blessing from God.
So that was our day. It was so awesome. God rocked to the max. Have a blessed day. I hope your Easter holiday was as wonderful as mine.
Blessings to you all,
Dess
We were done by 3pm and came back to eat and clean up. He went in to get his food while I stayed for a minute to clean up the truck. As soon as he had gone I got a call for the Milk company again. They said they had "some" milk left and if I wanted to come get it. I was like "I can handle 20 maybe even 30 more crates of milk. No problem." We hadn't given out to the shelters yet. I could give that much away easy. I went there and to my "great" suprise they didn't have 20 or 30 crates for me but 200+ crates. I was panicking in my head but I had said yes and knew I couldn't say no to this great blessing. I came back to Port Mercy with 200 crates and went to the head mama Mary asking her that if after work which was in 1 & 1/2 hours if I could bring a group of people with me and give out to the community. She didn't think any one would want to at first but when I told her that 6 people left their lunch break and that other people were disappointed they couldn't come she said go for it.
So I told the crew if any one wanted to come give out milk to meet me at 5:30. So at 5 I went to fuel up the truck since it was empty and to my suprise one of the machnics was doing work on it that needed to be done. I said uh Steve when you gonna be done. He said well I just got started how's about 10 minutes I was like "sure fine . .. where's your gas cans" So I ran to Wal-mart in a hurry of course.
At the gas area there was a lady there asking for money. Her story was that she was from New Orleans and didn't have enough money to get there. When I heard her tell some one this I instantly thought of my college friend who would use the same voice to get out of a traffic ticket or get something she wanted from some one. Luckily she tried to approach me twice but saw that i was in a hurry and not to bother with me. I thought to my self "I don't have money on me but if I did would I have pitty on this woman and give her money" As I was running around paying and getting gas I heard many of the customers talk about her "yeah right she needs money where is her car" or "I don't believe that woman really needs money I think she is playing" Well I left with out giving her any thing
So when I got back, steve was still working on the truck. "Hey steve you done" "Well I am but I can't find where this tube goes." AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I screamed in frustration and stress. Steve then had me drive the Truck out in the sun to see better. I was getting so upset I wanted to cry. Danette called and asked where I was she said It was 5:40 and asked how much longer I was going to be I said 5 to 10 minutes. I got of the phone and became more upset ready to cry at any second. Then God spoke really clearly to me and said "Praise me" Of course I didn't feel like it but God said it again "You need to Praise me Dess'' I started Praising God. God you know what you are awesome I love you so much. As soon as I started Praising Him steve said Found it. I was off and running. When I got to where everyone was they were gone. They had all decided to go for dinner. When they started coming back down they said can we eat I said I drive slow enough just get in the truck. We all were on our way. I wanted to get to a certain part of town but on our way there I saw a huge family celebrating Good Friday. I stopped and told the crew to get out really quick and give them milk. They got out quick but didn't get in quick. We were losing day light ours and the milk was staying out longer. I said we got to go two guys motioned me on ward. I drove slow hoping they would run and catch up but they never did. So we were down two and finally made it to the place we needed to be. It was awesome we gave out so much milk. God really provide the perfect time to give us the milk. In Louisiana Easter is huge. Much bigger than where I am from. On each block there were about two huge groups that had gotten together for the holidays on their lawn. We were able to be more affective this way and wish then a blessed resurrection day.
In the middle of where we wanted to be I saw the woman that had been asking for money at the gas station. I was blown away. She was sitting out side either her place or her friends place enjoying the day. I wasn't passing out milk because I was driving, taking pictures, and keeping people together as much as possible. So I jumped out so she would recognize me. And she did. I was so glad that the Lord had set it up the way he did. That she saw how busy I was trying to get gas and then she saw why I was so busy by wanting to give out milk to the neighborhood. It was awesome I am glad it was such a testimony. Our peole gave her house milk and asked if they wanted prayer or wished them a great resurrection day. How awesome is that.
So our crew got done at 8 at night with all the milk given out it was awesome. God was so good. We all had a great time. I learned so much that day. Here are some pictures of us giving out the milk and the kids flocking to the truck.
So first the kids were getting milk for them and their families. Then they came back to give to their neighbors.
Aren't they so cute and wonderful. What a blessing from God.
So that was our day. It was so awesome. God rocked to the max. Have a blessed day. I hope your Easter holiday was as wonderful as mine.
Blessings to you all,
Dess
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Dess' Thoughts
Hello Everyone,
It has been forever since I have blogged. Things are going great. God is working in both Joel's and mine life for the plan He has for us. Everyday is so hard because people really bring out your weaknesses. It is funny because you start praying that God will take those people away but then you realize that the weakness would still be there so you might as well get it over with and have Victory and be praising Him while you are at it.
I just had an amazing talk with one of my friends on the ship, Danette. She was one of the dancing girls at Joel's and mine wedding. We were talking about the old testament, talking about Jesus, and then discussing how and what Jesus changed from the old testament to now. I have realized He has changed a lot less than I thought He did. Just as He said "I have not come to abolish the law but to fulfill the law" So I was discussing with Danette how Amazed I was that even in the Old Testament God would tell His people "If you turn from your wicked ways then I will forgive you" When I first heard about Jesus and all He did for me I thought He did this. Meaning: I thought that God would never forgive in the old Testament and that because of Jesus we are for sure Forgiven today. But if you look in Ezekiel the 18th chapter at the very end it says. "Why will you die, O House of Israel? For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign Lord. Repent and live!" I love
it. No one can argue and say I have gone too far, I have sinned so much that not even God can forgive me! LIAR. God can forgive even the wickest person. You have to read Ezekiel all the 18th Chapter. God is soooooooooooooo good and forgives us when we turn back to Him.
So God has been changing both Joel and I. How can I tell well you see God has put people in our lives that drive us crazy and if I was a brand new Christain I would think, "These people, They are driving me Crazy I wish God would just show them their faults so we can all live in Peace." But learning from my past I realize that God has put certain people in my path to help form me to the way He desires. For instance if God wants me to increase my patience He puts me with someone that gets on my nerves all the time. Or if God wants to show me that I am self righteous in some areas then God will put me with a self righteous person. Now I am not saying this is a pat answer for all the people that annoy me in life. But I have finally come to a point that I start praying for those people instead of talking about them. And I have also come to a point where I am praising and thanking God that He has put such people in my path. My biggest prayer as of now is that I will actually learn from these experiences and not let my flesh get in the way. Joel is going through similar circumstances. He has some people that are under him that are trying him in many ways. I see this and praise God that He has such a plan for Joel that he is willing to put people that are not easy to work with under Joel. I am not saying all of them are difficult, but there are those that are difficult but I know it is growing Joel.
Prayer Requests: Joel hurt his back today. He went to bed around
Also pray that since the
Last, just wanted to brag on Joel. He has been so awesome to me. Things can get rough when you are trying to learn more about one another. But on Sunday we were at the picnic for our church and I was playing Volleyball I asked Joel to get me some water. He left without complaints and when he came back he had water for the whole team. Then left and came back a second time with water for the other team. He is so wonderful. I know I take him for granted at times and I know I don't always see what God wants me to see in him BUT I am blessed. He treats me like a Queen. He treats me the way God would want me to be treated and there is nothing more I could ask for.
Two things to think about from this email. God can and will forgive you no matter how far you have gone or how bad you have sinned (But if a wicked man turns away from the wickedness he has committed and does what is righ, he will save his life. Because he considers all the offenses he has committed and turns away from them, he will surely live; he will not die. Ezekiel 18:27-28) and Second praise God for that Person that is driving you crazy this week or last week or for the last month or for the last year. Because He is doing a work in you that He will complete so don't get in the way.
Love you all in agape,
Dess
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Life Goes On
Hi Everyone,
Sorry it's been so long since we last wrote. Life is pretty much going on as usual. We can't say that it's been more busy lately, it's just that we haven't been taking the time needed to write. We are preparing for a trip to Haiti. Both the Mer Sea and Hope are preparing to leave on May 1st. This means we've got a lot to do in preparation before they can get out of here. I worked all day Saturday on some projects for Capt. Stan. He's trying to get some of his projects finished now so we can shift our focus to other goals soon. The busiest of my departments right now is the mechanics. There are many repairs needed to some of the vital equipment that is going to Haiti. Since Richard is back, i've been able to get less involved with the warehouse stuff. That's been a blessing for me.
Dess and i went to a church picnic today. They started playing a game of volleyball and Dess was asked to play. For anyone who doesn't know, Dess was an awesome player back in high school. She even got scholarships to college for volleyball. So, as she was playing with these guys, she'd stuff it in their faces and make kills on them (that means she served the ball with no one touching it). She was great. It was the first time i'd ever seen Dess play. Even though it wasn't really competitive it was fun watching Dess do something which she used to love doing so much.
The other day i remembered a "prophesy" i once heard. It was from a guy on the ship who was certain that the end times/rapture would occur in early 2006. This guy was for real. He honestly thought that this was going to happen. He made many parallels between himself and Jesus and the prophets. As i was realizing that his prophesy didn't come true (which i never really thought it would), it made me wonder about how we hear God. I know that we all have different relationships with God. No two people's relationship with God is the same. There are people who get close to God in nature or in solitude. Those who prefer community or praise music or reading their Bibles, or just quiet times with God. We all do it differently. So why is it that there are times where it seems like we just miss it. I guess i think about my own life and the time where i felt God told me to stay at Friend Ships for 7 years. When i told my family they thought i was a bit of a nut and i think they had their doubts. Since then, they will sometimes remind me that i don't have to stay at Friend Ships, that maybe i could come home. Well, what if i missed it. What if i made that time into something that it wasn't? It's so easy to be convinced of something that isn't true.
Dess resonded with me that there are three voices in our head. There's our own voice, God's voice and Satan's voice. That we need to know which each voice sounds like so we can follow the right voice. Then we talked about angels and how God's messanges are brought to people. But what comes to my mind is the scripture about how the Devil can come as an angel of light. That's pretty scary to think about. Do we sometimes miss it because we're listening to the wrong voice? How does someone get so convinced about something like the end of the world but it doesn't happen??? Christianity can be so bizarre to me at times.
These are my thoughts lately. It just seems so strange to me.
How much of our faith is truly "blind"?
Sorry it's been so long since we last wrote. Life is pretty much going on as usual. We can't say that it's been more busy lately, it's just that we haven't been taking the time needed to write. We are preparing for a trip to Haiti. Both the Mer Sea and Hope are preparing to leave on May 1st. This means we've got a lot to do in preparation before they can get out of here. I worked all day Saturday on some projects for Capt. Stan. He's trying to get some of his projects finished now so we can shift our focus to other goals soon. The busiest of my departments right now is the mechanics. There are many repairs needed to some of the vital equipment that is going to Haiti. Since Richard is back, i've been able to get less involved with the warehouse stuff. That's been a blessing for me.
Dess and i went to a church picnic today. They started playing a game of volleyball and Dess was asked to play. For anyone who doesn't know, Dess was an awesome player back in high school. She even got scholarships to college for volleyball. So, as she was playing with these guys, she'd stuff it in their faces and make kills on them (that means she served the ball with no one touching it). She was great. It was the first time i'd ever seen Dess play. Even though it wasn't really competitive it was fun watching Dess do something which she used to love doing so much.
The other day i remembered a "prophesy" i once heard. It was from a guy on the ship who was certain that the end times/rapture would occur in early 2006. This guy was for real. He honestly thought that this was going to happen. He made many parallels between himself and Jesus and the prophets. As i was realizing that his prophesy didn't come true (which i never really thought it would), it made me wonder about how we hear God. I know that we all have different relationships with God. No two people's relationship with God is the same. There are people who get close to God in nature or in solitude. Those who prefer community or praise music or reading their Bibles, or just quiet times with God. We all do it differently. So why is it that there are times where it seems like we just miss it. I guess i think about my own life and the time where i felt God told me to stay at Friend Ships for 7 years. When i told my family they thought i was a bit of a nut and i think they had their doubts. Since then, they will sometimes remind me that i don't have to stay at Friend Ships, that maybe i could come home. Well, what if i missed it. What if i made that time into something that it wasn't? It's so easy to be convinced of something that isn't true.
Dess resonded with me that there are three voices in our head. There's our own voice, God's voice and Satan's voice. That we need to know which each voice sounds like so we can follow the right voice. Then we talked about angels and how God's messanges are brought to people. But what comes to my mind is the scripture about how the Devil can come as an angel of light. That's pretty scary to think about. Do we sometimes miss it because we're listening to the wrong voice? How does someone get so convinced about something like the end of the world but it doesn't happen??? Christianity can be so bizarre to me at times.
These are my thoughts lately. It just seems so strange to me.
How much of our faith is truly "blind"?
Monday, March 27, 2006
More Fishbowl
Okay so i haven't gone to bed yet. Instead i've been reading RELEVANT magazine, which Sarah, Paul and Tara got me a subscription of. In it i happened to read a quote which i feel states what i was trying to say in a better and more concise manner. Here it is:
"The apostle Paul constantly reminds us of our sinfulness and our salvation as sinners, not because he wanted us to feel bad about ourselves, but because recognition of our own sinfulness creates in us a capacity to see beyond the sins of others."
Man that's deep. Okay so that's my desire, to get past myself and my feelings of 'sinlessness' and to see myself as sinful as others and thereby be able to excuse them for their flesh.
"The apostle Paul constantly reminds us of our sinfulness and our salvation as sinners, not because he wanted us to feel bad about ourselves, but because recognition of our own sinfulness creates in us a capacity to see beyond the sins of others."
Man that's deep. Okay so that's my desire, to get past myself and my feelings of 'sinlessness' and to see myself as sinful as others and thereby be able to excuse them for their flesh.
Fishbowl Christianity
Hi,
I've just gone through and looked at the two photo CDs that my family had sent me about a month ago. This is the second time that i've looked at the photos straight through. Altogether there are 1050 pictures on 2 CDs. It's a bit of an overload. Seeing all the photos of the things i've missed out on makes me sad. The last set i went through were about 650 pictures of the making of my dad's shop. It was pretty intense by the looks of it. But it makes me want to take the CD home with me, whenever i get the chance, and ask my dad all sorts of questions about the making of his shop. It would've been something enjoyable for me to be a part of. I'm interested in construction, wiring and plumbing. I'm interested in knowing if he used cement anchors to secure the frame to the concrete pad, and i'd have all sorts of wiring questions for him too. In the meantime, i just have the pictures and my imagination to wonder just what all went on.
Then the other CD is about 400 pictures from June '05 to February '06. I missed out on Nathan being born, camping with the fam, Hallowe'en, Christmas and Thanksgiving. I've missed different hair styles on my mom and sisters, piercings, tatoos and clothes. It just about makes me sick. Wait, it does make me sick, HOMESICK. These are just the feelings that were brought up this evening as i looked at the pictures.
What i've been thinking about lately though is life in community. Or more specifically "fishbowl christianity". Living on the ship can make you learn lots of stuff about yourself and others. It's really like we're living in a fishbowl where we all want our tanks to look clean and pretty. I find myself easily judging how other peoples fishbowl looks. If there's someone who's got issues that are revealed on the outside, i'm prone to criticize and talk about those problems. In a subconscious level it makes me feel like i'm "not so bad". But the truth of it is that i am bad. My insides are worse then their outsides. (At this point i'm hoping this makes sense to you who can't read my mind.) The thought comes to mind that maybe they love Jesus more because they have been forgiven more. But the reality is that if i truly bring all my sins to God, that i'll have just as many or more issues than anyone else.
I think Jesus' fishbowl analogy was the whole white washed tomb thing. He said that the pharisee's outside was clean but the inside was full of bones and uncleanness. The thought that comes to my mind is "skeletons in the closet". We've all got our issues that we've tried to hide from everyone. Or we've got our problems like gossip or condemnation that we just won't acknowledge. Even though we try to make the outside look good, our insides may be all messed up.
The only way to get past the external is to develop truly meaningful relationships. To go deeper than the surface. To look beyond the face value of a person and see their heart. Is this difficult and dangerous? Of course. I don't know if i can count on more than 1 finger all the people i would be this revealing to. But without depth, we run the risk of becoming white washed tombs.
I don't know if that came out the way i had expected.
I've just gone through and looked at the two photo CDs that my family had sent me about a month ago. This is the second time that i've looked at the photos straight through. Altogether there are 1050 pictures on 2 CDs. It's a bit of an overload. Seeing all the photos of the things i've missed out on makes me sad. The last set i went through were about 650 pictures of the making of my dad's shop. It was pretty intense by the looks of it. But it makes me want to take the CD home with me, whenever i get the chance, and ask my dad all sorts of questions about the making of his shop. It would've been something enjoyable for me to be a part of. I'm interested in construction, wiring and plumbing. I'm interested in knowing if he used cement anchors to secure the frame to the concrete pad, and i'd have all sorts of wiring questions for him too. In the meantime, i just have the pictures and my imagination to wonder just what all went on.
Then the other CD is about 400 pictures from June '05 to February '06. I missed out on Nathan being born, camping with the fam, Hallowe'en, Christmas and Thanksgiving. I've missed different hair styles on my mom and sisters, piercings, tatoos and clothes. It just about makes me sick. Wait, it does make me sick, HOMESICK. These are just the feelings that were brought up this evening as i looked at the pictures.
What i've been thinking about lately though is life in community. Or more specifically "fishbowl christianity". Living on the ship can make you learn lots of stuff about yourself and others. It's really like we're living in a fishbowl where we all want our tanks to look clean and pretty. I find myself easily judging how other peoples fishbowl looks. If there's someone who's got issues that are revealed on the outside, i'm prone to criticize and talk about those problems. In a subconscious level it makes me feel like i'm "not so bad". But the truth of it is that i am bad. My insides are worse then their outsides. (At this point i'm hoping this makes sense to you who can't read my mind.) The thought comes to mind that maybe they love Jesus more because they have been forgiven more. But the reality is that if i truly bring all my sins to God, that i'll have just as many or more issues than anyone else.
I think Jesus' fishbowl analogy was the whole white washed tomb thing. He said that the pharisee's outside was clean but the inside was full of bones and uncleanness. The thought that comes to my mind is "skeletons in the closet". We've all got our issues that we've tried to hide from everyone. Or we've got our problems like gossip or condemnation that we just won't acknowledge. Even though we try to make the outside look good, our insides may be all messed up.
The only way to get past the external is to develop truly meaningful relationships. To go deeper than the surface. To look beyond the face value of a person and see their heart. Is this difficult and dangerous? Of course. I don't know if i can count on more than 1 finger all the people i would be this revealing to. But without depth, we run the risk of becoming white washed tombs.
I don't know if that came out the way i had expected.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
One Week Down!!!
PHEWWW!!!
Man, i'm feeling wasted. I've had a tough week. It's about as bad as i thought it would be. This week has been stressful and not the best. The beginning was worse and by the end it was much better. We got one boxcar unloaded and most of the second is done. A semi truck came in which was loaded with some sketchy pallets and then more stuff was hand loaded on top. What a mess. All this cargo is taking up tons of room in our warehouses and yard. I wish i had a digital camera so i could show you what it looks like. The warehouse guys have taken about a month to make room and get things looking nice. In this week, i've been able to set them back to where things are worse than before. It is awesome that God is bringing in tons of good stuff, but it makes it a little hectic when trying to find a place for it all.
It was Tuesday evening, just at the close of the work day that i sorta took some stuff out on Dess. Well, i guess i didn't really do anything, i more just closed off altogether. I turned in on myself. It was after 5pm when Dess came by. She was happy to see me and wanted to be near me. I was in a purposeful frame of mind. I still more stuff to do and wanted to get it done as soon as possible. Being so focused on my work, i wasn't giving Dess the attention she deserved. So she bailed and went and got cleaned up with me. We were going out for dinner that night. On the drive we had a few 'words' with one another. Then it got real silent. Dess finally started laughing to break the ice. That got me looking out again and we were able to have a pleasant evening.
The dinner we had was at the house of an older couple from church. We had planned on having a big dinner on Thursday which was to be held at their house, but which Dess and i were going to be cooking. 16 people were supposed to show up. So we were invited to dinner a few days early to check out their house and where we'd be cooking. We were sorta getting an idea of what to expect. This couple is great. The husband, Lohren, is 87 years old. His wife Nancy (who's age i won't disclose because i'm not sure exactly what her age is) has been widowed twice after 20 years of marriage both times. Lohren is her 3rd husband. They are an amazing couple who are pretty good opposites to each other. Nancy is loud and boisterous. She speaks her mind (without thinking first) and is funny. She teases me about the necklace that my sister Allison gave me. She's a real fireball. Lohren is quiet and meek. He's pensive and very serious. He's got a good sense of humor but it's way more dry than Nancy's. He was a physician for all his life and is a meticulous man. The two of them together make quite a pair. Nancy's personality has a tendancy to dwarf Lohren's. So the four of us got together to plan our meal.
Dess had decided to make manicotti as the main dish. Salad was to be the side with bread. Ice tea was to be the drink of the meal, while Martinelli's Sparkling Cider was be served beforehand while we were conversing. A 'dump' cake was Dess' choice for dessert. Right after work on Thursday evening Dess and i got cleaned up and raced to Nancy and Lohren's house. Nancy had already boiled the noodles, so I began preparing the stuffing for the noodles. Cottage cheese and mozzerella cheese were mixed together. Dess forgot the Miracle Whip, so we added mayonaise instead. Dess worked on the dessert. A #10 can of pineapple was upended and then 2 cake mixes were sprinkled on top. Dump cake is ready in no time flat. Nancy prepared the salad while we were doing all this. From there the stuffing commenced. It is a hands on affair with Dess. She gets her hands in the white cheesy stuffing and crams it into those shells like there's no tomorrow. I started browning some ground beef for the tomato sauce. After the noodles were crammed they were covered with Ragu's chunky spaghetti sauce. The two huge pans of manicotti were placed in the oven, then we waited.
It was an interesting evening because for some reason, as the guests appeared they split up by gender. Males in one room, females in the other. So while we waited for the manicotti to bake we sat in our gender exclusive groups and talked about whatever came to mind. The men spoke of such things as socialized health care, possums as pets, deer that run into the sides of cars, computers and technology and other manly topics. Who knows what the women talked about. It seemed like they mostly cackled. Their laughing came in torrents.
The meal itself was a huge success. Dess had outdone herself again. We only ate one pan of manicotti and we still had enough ingredients left over to make another one. But it was great because people were able to take home leftovers. It made for a late night, but it was good to be able to see these people in a setting outside of church. We are interested in deepening relationships and getting closer to people. It's just hard to do at times when everyone has busy schedules and we're pretty busy too. It just helped make the end of the week that much better.
Saturday afternoon we enjoyed some tennis and saw some friends who used to volunteer with us. What a pleasant day!
Life is going well. We're still tired, but i hope that next week won't be so bad on me. Thanks for all your prayers and encouragement.
Man, i'm feeling wasted. I've had a tough week. It's about as bad as i thought it would be. This week has been stressful and not the best. The beginning was worse and by the end it was much better. We got one boxcar unloaded and most of the second is done. A semi truck came in which was loaded with some sketchy pallets and then more stuff was hand loaded on top. What a mess. All this cargo is taking up tons of room in our warehouses and yard. I wish i had a digital camera so i could show you what it looks like. The warehouse guys have taken about a month to make room and get things looking nice. In this week, i've been able to set them back to where things are worse than before. It is awesome that God is bringing in tons of good stuff, but it makes it a little hectic when trying to find a place for it all.
It was Tuesday evening, just at the close of the work day that i sorta took some stuff out on Dess. Well, i guess i didn't really do anything, i more just closed off altogether. I turned in on myself. It was after 5pm when Dess came by. She was happy to see me and wanted to be near me. I was in a purposeful frame of mind. I still more stuff to do and wanted to get it done as soon as possible. Being so focused on my work, i wasn't giving Dess the attention she deserved. So she bailed and went and got cleaned up with me. We were going out for dinner that night. On the drive we had a few 'words' with one another. Then it got real silent. Dess finally started laughing to break the ice. That got me looking out again and we were able to have a pleasant evening.
The dinner we had was at the house of an older couple from church. We had planned on having a big dinner on Thursday which was to be held at their house, but which Dess and i were going to be cooking. 16 people were supposed to show up. So we were invited to dinner a few days early to check out their house and where we'd be cooking. We were sorta getting an idea of what to expect. This couple is great. The husband, Lohren, is 87 years old. His wife Nancy (who's age i won't disclose because i'm not sure exactly what her age is) has been widowed twice after 20 years of marriage both times. Lohren is her 3rd husband. They are an amazing couple who are pretty good opposites to each other. Nancy is loud and boisterous. She speaks her mind (without thinking first) and is funny. She teases me about the necklace that my sister Allison gave me. She's a real fireball. Lohren is quiet and meek. He's pensive and very serious. He's got a good sense of humor but it's way more dry than Nancy's. He was a physician for all his life and is a meticulous man. The two of them together make quite a pair. Nancy's personality has a tendancy to dwarf Lohren's. So the four of us got together to plan our meal.
Dess had decided to make manicotti as the main dish. Salad was to be the side with bread. Ice tea was to be the drink of the meal, while Martinelli's Sparkling Cider was be served beforehand while we were conversing. A 'dump' cake was Dess' choice for dessert. Right after work on Thursday evening Dess and i got cleaned up and raced to Nancy and Lohren's house. Nancy had already boiled the noodles, so I began preparing the stuffing for the noodles. Cottage cheese and mozzerella cheese were mixed together. Dess forgot the Miracle Whip, so we added mayonaise instead. Dess worked on the dessert. A #10 can of pineapple was upended and then 2 cake mixes were sprinkled on top. Dump cake is ready in no time flat. Nancy prepared the salad while we were doing all this. From there the stuffing commenced. It is a hands on affair with Dess. She gets her hands in the white cheesy stuffing and crams it into those shells like there's no tomorrow. I started browning some ground beef for the tomato sauce. After the noodles were crammed they were covered with Ragu's chunky spaghetti sauce. The two huge pans of manicotti were placed in the oven, then we waited.
It was an interesting evening because for some reason, as the guests appeared they split up by gender. Males in one room, females in the other. So while we waited for the manicotti to bake we sat in our gender exclusive groups and talked about whatever came to mind. The men spoke of such things as socialized health care, possums as pets, deer that run into the sides of cars, computers and technology and other manly topics. Who knows what the women talked about. It seemed like they mostly cackled. Their laughing came in torrents.
The meal itself was a huge success. Dess had outdone herself again. We only ate one pan of manicotti and we still had enough ingredients left over to make another one. But it was great because people were able to take home leftovers. It made for a late night, but it was good to be able to see these people in a setting outside of church. We are interested in deepening relationships and getting closer to people. It's just hard to do at times when everyone has busy schedules and we're pretty busy too. It just helped make the end of the week that much better.
Saturday afternoon we enjoyed some tennis and saw some friends who used to volunteer with us. What a pleasant day!
Life is going well. We're still tired, but i hope that next week won't be so bad on me. Thanks for all your prayers and encouragement.
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