Fishbowl Christianity

Hi,

I've just gone through and looked at the two photo CDs that my family had sent me about a month ago. This is the second time that i've looked at the photos straight through. Altogether there are 1050 pictures on 2 CDs. It's a bit of an overload. Seeing all the photos of the things i've missed out on makes me sad. The last set i went through were about 650 pictures of the making of my dad's shop. It was pretty intense by the looks of it. But it makes me want to take the CD home with me, whenever i get the chance, and ask my dad all sorts of questions about the making of his shop. It would've been something enjoyable for me to be a part of. I'm interested in construction, wiring and plumbing. I'm interested in knowing if he used cement anchors to secure the frame to the concrete pad, and i'd have all sorts of wiring questions for him too. In the meantime, i just have the pictures and my imagination to wonder just what all went on.

Then the other CD is about 400 pictures from June '05 to February '06. I missed out on Nathan being born, camping with the fam, Hallowe'en, Christmas and Thanksgiving. I've missed different hair styles on my mom and sisters, piercings, tatoos and clothes. It just about makes me sick. Wait, it does make me sick, HOMESICK. These are just the feelings that were brought up this evening as i looked at the pictures.

What i've been thinking about lately though is life in community. Or more specifically "fishbowl christianity". Living on the ship can make you learn lots of stuff about yourself and others. It's really like we're living in a fishbowl where we all want our tanks to look clean and pretty. I find myself easily judging how other peoples fishbowl looks. If there's someone who's got issues that are revealed on the outside, i'm prone to criticize and talk about those problems. In a subconscious level it makes me feel like i'm "not so bad". But the truth of it is that i am bad. My insides are worse then their outsides. (At this point i'm hoping this makes sense to you who can't read my mind.) The thought comes to mind that maybe they love Jesus more because they have been forgiven more. But the reality is that if i truly bring all my sins to God, that i'll have just as many or more issues than anyone else.

I think Jesus' fishbowl analogy was the whole white washed tomb thing. He said that the pharisee's outside was clean but the inside was full of bones and uncleanness. The thought that comes to my mind is "skeletons in the closet". We've all got our issues that we've tried to hide from everyone. Or we've got our problems like gossip or condemnation that we just won't acknowledge. Even though we try to make the outside look good, our insides may be all messed up.

The only way to get past the external is to develop truly meaningful relationships. To go deeper than the surface. To look beyond the face value of a person and see their heart. Is this difficult and dangerous? Of course. I don't know if i can count on more than 1 finger all the people i would be this revealing to. But without depth, we run the risk of becoming white washed tombs.

I don't know if that came out the way i had expected.