God has taught me a lot this week. Things have calmed down since the Grace has left for Israel which is really nice. When the crew left for Haiti it was more hectic so this time we are just kickin it. Don't worry we are still doing our jobs but it is really quiet here at Port Mercy.
So this week was my birthday. Thank you every one who participated in making it so great. I got wonderful things from people money, cards, presents. God really blessed me indeed but in the midst of the blessing I was a brat. Can I tell you the truth. Now if I was in a African-American church some one in the audience would say "COME ON PASTOR COME ON. PREACH IT LIKE IT IS." Man I miss VIP (Victory in Praise) in Stockton California. Can I get a "Get your praise on"
Any way so God really blessed me. With calls and love from people. But I got really disappointed when Joel didn't do what he had done for the past two years. Usually he wakes up earlier than me and does something to suprise me. So when he didn't I was totally bummed but then I was like no Joel has something don't worry it wil come. So all day more blessings came in. And then it was the end of the day for work and I was getting my hopes up. "Oh I know Joel has something for me." But can I tell you I also had plan B. (Plan B: If Joel had nothing planned and wanted to eat on the ship for my birthday I was going to grab my very very very good friend Kippin Johnson, Dress up in a fabulous dress she got me, and go out on the town with out Joel.) Needless to say he had plans to go out. So when we were getting ready I was scoping the room for a present or a card from him. Nothing, Nada, Nothing. So we were getting ready and he got dressed in a Tux (HE LOOKED GOOOOOOOOOOOOD) and I got dressed in my new dress Kippin gave me. While he was getting dress I was thinking oh there is probably a gift card in his pocket for me.
So we went out to one of my favorite restaurant in town, O'Charly's. It was fabulous. During dinner I brought up about the morning and how I was disappointed and then I asked if he had his present for me. Joel said . . .. NO. He didn't have a present for me. I almost started craying right there in the middle of the restaurant. I don't know why I get so excited for presents on my birthday. Well actually I was just expecting a present from Joel and that was it. Or something. So I didn't think about it for the rest of the night till we got back to our room. Then I started freaking out (being a brat) in my mind. I jumped in bed and starting ragging in my head.
How dare Joel not get me something. I am going to cry cry cry. He knows I love presents and suprises for my birthday. I deserve better than this. First the Israel trip which I trust God in and now no good birthday. This is horrible. (During this time Joel was getting ready for bed and my back was facing him and my front was facing the wall.
All of a sudden God started rebuking me like no other. "Dess that is enough. Don't you dare show Joel how you feel. He feels bad enough about this. There will be times where he will really mess up with you and I will be on your side to defend you but not this time. You are having a pity party stop it this second. Don't say a word to Joel about this. Say you love him and go to bed with out throwing a fit" I did what God told me to do. Told Joel I loved him and went to sleep.
You would have thought that would be enough. All the other times God has rebuked me I do a 180 and stop what I am doing. Oh no not for this. The next morning I got up to spend my God time and I started going at it again.
This Time I was crying and weeping, weeping and crying. OH this isn't fair. Whoa as me. Cry cry, fuss fuss me me me. This time God was more upset. "Dess that enough. You are exalting yourself and only thinking about you. If you were humbling yourself I would have sympathy towards you. You need to be humble. The verse went through my head "God gives grace to the humble but opposes the proud." Then God said so kindly. How many husbands would get dressed in a tux and take their wives out for dinner. Name some couples. I tried but I couldn't think of a single couple. I named both my sisters and my mom for never having that in their lives. I knew God was right. Even after all that I told God: This is not fair. But I wanted to humble myself. How Do I humble myself. God then started softening my heart and changing it to be humble. I haven't grumbled and complained since then and have felt very blessed about my birthday and how well Joel treated me.
That morning when Joel and I went to morning refreshing we were shown a video of one year after Katrina and how many people were with out. How they had lost everything in the storm and were still rebuilding their lives. I felt worse after watching the video and realizing what a brat I was for my birthday. I then asked God to forgive me and humble me even more. I have never called God unfair before that day and I did it in a very poor manner. For God is never unfair. He is always just and right in everything He does and will always be just and right.
So that was my birthday lessons. I learned even more how blessed I really am. With so many people to love me. How many people I have in my life that are not just a pass byer but really love me. I also realzied even more that I have the most wonderful Husband in the world who treats me like a queen. More than many women could even hope for. I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and doesn't send the lighting bolts to strike me down when I am bad but even in the midst of my tanturm he will still talk to me in Kindness though I do not deserve it. I have also learned where in my life I need to grow up and humble myself. So this year's birthday was rich in lessons and in love.
I hope this doesn't totally shock you guys about me. I know I am shock that I would ever act this way but I hope some one can learn from this.
Have a blessed day. And let that person that you see every day know how special they really are and how much you do appreciate them.
Love all of you,
Dess
PS can I say this has been the hardest blog to put out for me sinec it was so raw and full of the sinnful me. Yikes Sorry if it scared you guys and you never want to talk to me again. Totally understand.
Friday, September 15, 2006
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Immigration Interview
Hello Everyone,
Joel did an excellent job of updating ya'll but he didn't give a detailed description of our interview. Looking back it was pretty funny.
We met our lawyer for the first time 30 minutes before our interview. I thought this was not a good thing but it didn't turn out to be a bad thing. She didn't really speak or defend us. She didn't have to. She was with us if there were any questions about the documentation. So Cynthia (our lawyer) said it usual runs 30 minutes to an hour late to getting in the interview. She was completely right. While the three of us were waiting we got to know Cynthia a bit better. Learned that she was getting married in December. She told us a bit about her job what she liked what she didn't like.
Then we went into the interview. Our Lady immigration officer looked very cross. Not warm and fuzzy at all. The first question that came out of the immigration officer's mouth was "Do you have your ID? Please pull it out" I thought she was just talking to Joel. Oh no she turned to me and said "You too" DANG IT. The first question to the test and I failed. "Mine is in the car." "Well go get it." It sounds like an easy answer but Janet and Chuck had taken off and I didn't know where they were. Good thing we all had cell phones. The only probably was we had their number in the cell but not the area code because in
Then came the questions. The immigration officer asked the same questions to Joel that he had answered on the application we had sent in March of 2005. Then she asked if we lived in a house. I answer for Joel "no on a ship." I apologized to Joel and said go ahead answer. So he did. Then she asked if we had the deed to the ship. Of course we don't. So Joel started explaining what we did. She then asked do you have a car together, this together that together. All we had were bank statements. Then we gave her a letter that Mary, Joel’s boss had written for the both of us. Stating we didn't need much money to do what we did and explaining what we did.
She then said "let me see pictures of your travels together" SO I got out the pictures and showed her. But the funny thing is in my mind I was convinced that she needed to see pictures of the ship so she would understand why we don't have paperwork in our name to the ship. So I would pass by the couple pictures and show her the ship. "There's the ship, oh and there, and that's the ship, and right there." Joel in his head was thinking "What on earth is Dess doing she is passing all the couple pictures. Why is she showing the ship?" Then I said to the officer "Oh I am sorry you can flip through for yourself" She started flipping really fast. So I saw another picture of the ship she needed to see "Oh you missed this picture of the ship." She got done flipping through the pictures grabbed Joel’s passport and stamped it with a seal of approval. It was quick and easy. We thanked Cynthia and went on our way with Chuck and Janet.
It was pretty funny once you think about it. Joel wasn't too happy during the interview. But you can't please every one. I think in the next blog I will put pictures of the ship so you can get a good idea how great Joel's and my relationship is ;).
Ship lover,
Dess
Friday, September 08, 2006
Feelings
Hi Everyone,
Well, it's been quite a long time since i've posted. I remember thinking about posting something after Dess and my anniversary, but never got around to it. I thought about writing something before the long hours of loading came into effect, but got too busy doing other stuff. Then i thought about writing around the time of our immigration stuff, but didn't want to. Now i've run out of excuses and i'm going to write.
As Dess has mentioned, this has been an emotional draining time for both of us. The extended working hours (which means less time with each other and God), the hope of going on the Israel trip, work frustrations and immigration all culminated into a big emotional mess. In some ways it feels like we're past it, but in others we're still emotionally involved. Talking with our family helps out a lot. Just knowing that there are people that we can open up to that understand us. Here at Friend Ships, we live in a community, but sometimes you have to keep your distance. I don't really want to get close to the people who are working for me. So it's been a tumultuous time, but we're getting over it.
Facts, Facts, Facts: For those of you who don't know, I am now officially a conditional permanent resident of the U.S. It's pretty exciting actually. The interview was a snap. Everything was in order because of our lawyer. All our paper work was right and we only had about a 10 minute interview. I don't know if she could tell right away that we were in love or what, but it was awesome. Friends of ours, Chuck and Janet, drove us to New Orleans the day before and paid for our hotel and dining. They prayed for us the whole day and then drove us back to Lake Charles when we were done. They were a huge blessing to us. Just a little f.y.i. we aren't completely done with immigration stuff. We've gotta go back in 2 years for one more interview, just to make sure we are still married. No problem.
The Spirit of Grace has left for Israel and we're definitely not on it. If you are interested in checking out the progress, you can check out www.friendships.org or follow the link on our site. Besides that, life at Friend Ships has slowed down quite a bit. We are taking a much more relaxed pace now that the ship has left. Also, i'm down to a crew of 2 under me, so we can't get near as much done. This is nice in a way. Although when it comes to work, it can feel unfulfilling at times. But we press on and know that there will be always be good days and bad days no matter where we are.
Dess' birthday is coming up for those who may not know. Her birthday is Sept. 13th. I know that Dess loves celebrations, surprises and all that. She's having a joint birthday party on the ship with her friend Kippin. Kippin's birthday is the 28th, but she is leaving before then, so they are having a party earlier. Our anniversary celebration was pretty fun. I hope you've checked out our flickr photo site to see some of the things we did. The Acadian village was fun. It would've been cooler if there were people dressed up in authentic clothes giving the tour, but the self guided tour was interesting too. Especially when we had to face the huge geese at the beginning, that really spiced up the village.
Well, i hope that i can get back into the habit of writing at least once a week on this blog. I don't really have the old excuses anymore, so i'd better. I know that it's one way for you to stay a part of our lives.
joel
Well, it's been quite a long time since i've posted. I remember thinking about posting something after Dess and my anniversary, but never got around to it. I thought about writing something before the long hours of loading came into effect, but got too busy doing other stuff. Then i thought about writing around the time of our immigration stuff, but didn't want to. Now i've run out of excuses and i'm going to write.
As Dess has mentioned, this has been an emotional draining time for both of us. The extended working hours (which means less time with each other and God), the hope of going on the Israel trip, work frustrations and immigration all culminated into a big emotional mess. In some ways it feels like we're past it, but in others we're still emotionally involved. Talking with our family helps out a lot. Just knowing that there are people that we can open up to that understand us. Here at Friend Ships, we live in a community, but sometimes you have to keep your distance. I don't really want to get close to the people who are working for me. So it's been a tumultuous time, but we're getting over it.
Facts, Facts, Facts: For those of you who don't know, I am now officially a conditional permanent resident of the U.S. It's pretty exciting actually. The interview was a snap. Everything was in order because of our lawyer. All our paper work was right and we only had about a 10 minute interview. I don't know if she could tell right away that we were in love or what, but it was awesome. Friends of ours, Chuck and Janet, drove us to New Orleans the day before and paid for our hotel and dining. They prayed for us the whole day and then drove us back to Lake Charles when we were done. They were a huge blessing to us. Just a little f.y.i. we aren't completely done with immigration stuff. We've gotta go back in 2 years for one more interview, just to make sure we are still married. No problem.
The Spirit of Grace has left for Israel and we're definitely not on it. If you are interested in checking out the progress, you can check out www.friendships.org or follow the link on our site. Besides that, life at Friend Ships has slowed down quite a bit. We are taking a much more relaxed pace now that the ship has left. Also, i'm down to a crew of 2 under me, so we can't get near as much done. This is nice in a way. Although when it comes to work, it can feel unfulfilling at times. But we press on and know that there will be always be good days and bad days no matter where we are.
Dess' birthday is coming up for those who may not know. Her birthday is Sept. 13th. I know that Dess loves celebrations, surprises and all that. She's having a joint birthday party on the ship with her friend Kippin. Kippin's birthday is the 28th, but she is leaving before then, so they are having a party earlier. Our anniversary celebration was pretty fun. I hope you've checked out our flickr photo site to see some of the things we did. The Acadian village was fun. It would've been cooler if there were people dressed up in authentic clothes giving the tour, but the self guided tour was interesting too. Especially when we had to face the huge geese at the beginning, that really spiced up the village.
Well, i hope that i can get back into the habit of writing at least once a week on this blog. I don't really have the old excuses anymore, so i'd better. I know that it's one way for you to stay a part of our lives.
joel
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Breaking up is Hard to do
Hello Everyone,
I hope all is well. For Joel and I we are hurting really badly in our hearts. (no we are not breaking up) Most of our crew is leaving for Israel today. The sad thing is there is only 4 more days until Joels and my immigration interview after our interview we can leave to any country we want. So we are left behind from going to Israel. The only thing I can describe it as, is the feeling of breaking up with your first love. The pain you feel every time you see them. The looking back and your expectations.
It is hard and painful. I do wish they were gone already. Looking at the ship and people that are still here that are going to Israel is like a knife in the heart. Joel and I have huge hearts to help the poor and needy. We love Israel. We love any country but we love Israel.
I want to cry I want to bawl but God said not to cry. Don't know if he will let me but Father knows that is best.
It is so complicated. Our interview is in 4 days, God can move mountains why not hold up a ship. Or why not have our interview at the end of september so that we would of had less expectations to go to Israel. Actually my true question to God is this. In Psalms it says if you delight in the Lord he will give you the desires of your heart. Most people thinks that means if you want a car he will give it to you. It actually means when you delight in God he changes your heart to have desires that He has for things. Like blessing Israel. So I am like God you gave me this Desire. (I know on my own achord I would never want to go to a land that is in the middle of war or be on a ship with 46 other people for 30 days not being able to get off) So since I delight in you why do you give me a desire I can not have as of now. Or are you going to make a way.
The most awesome thing is I am not mad or hurt at God. Or anger frustrated jealous; this situation has made me grow and trust God more. I trust God's decisions and His motives. I trust God if he wants me to stay. I say God you give and take away but I will still say BLESSED BE YOUR NAME. For even if I don't acknowledge you are good, you still are. SO I will say GOD YOU ARE GOOD. Thank you thank you. I guess my prayer right now is that Other people would see what JOel and I are going through and still call God Good as we are.
I read Sarah's blog and it made me think why does God do such things. I feel in a sense Sarah Joel and I are asking the same questions to God but going through different things. We may not have the same emotional feelings or the same situtation but I do think we are asking God similar questions. Why God do you allow other people to go through things we want to when it looks like we could handle it better than they could. Our motives are pure and we have all the right things needed to do what we have in our hearts to do while other people don't have the right movitives or it looks like they can not handle it why do they get to go through the very thing we want to do.
I guess I can say from my prospective is God you know what is best. may I bless and honor your decisions you make for my life. For when I said GOd I believe in Jesus and I want to have him be my Lord (boss) for the rest of my life I gave up all rights to chose where I would go what I would say and do. Now God gives us choices but if he says go here I must go.
Does it hurt to do God's will at times. Heck yeah. any way I could go on and on. But Sarah I guess what I wanted to say is: I am feeling for you. I don't know exactly what you are going through I am not feeling your exact feelings but I feel for you and will pray for you and what you and paul are going through.
Is God Fair. Yes. Does it look like He is fair No. Am I glad it looks like He is not fair. Heck yeah or I would think all of us would go to Hell
Love you all. Thank you for your prayers.
GOD IS GOOD,
The Butlers
I hope all is well. For Joel and I we are hurting really badly in our hearts. (no we are not breaking up) Most of our crew is leaving for Israel today. The sad thing is there is only 4 more days until Joels and my immigration interview after our interview we can leave to any country we want. So we are left behind from going to Israel. The only thing I can describe it as, is the feeling of breaking up with your first love. The pain you feel every time you see them. The looking back and your expectations.
It is hard and painful. I do wish they were gone already. Looking at the ship and people that are still here that are going to Israel is like a knife in the heart. Joel and I have huge hearts to help the poor and needy. We love Israel. We love any country but we love Israel.
I want to cry I want to bawl but God said not to cry. Don't know if he will let me but Father knows that is best.
It is so complicated. Our interview is in 4 days, God can move mountains why not hold up a ship. Or why not have our interview at the end of september so that we would of had less expectations to go to Israel. Actually my true question to God is this. In Psalms it says if you delight in the Lord he will give you the desires of your heart. Most people thinks that means if you want a car he will give it to you. It actually means when you delight in God he changes your heart to have desires that He has for things. Like blessing Israel. So I am like God you gave me this Desire. (I know on my own achord I would never want to go to a land that is in the middle of war or be on a ship with 46 other people for 30 days not being able to get off) So since I delight in you why do you give me a desire I can not have as of now. Or are you going to make a way.
The most awesome thing is I am not mad or hurt at God. Or anger frustrated jealous; this situation has made me grow and trust God more. I trust God's decisions and His motives. I trust God if he wants me to stay. I say God you give and take away but I will still say BLESSED BE YOUR NAME. For even if I don't acknowledge you are good, you still are. SO I will say GOD YOU ARE GOOD. Thank you thank you. I guess my prayer right now is that Other people would see what JOel and I are going through and still call God Good as we are.
I read Sarah's blog and it made me think why does God do such things. I feel in a sense Sarah Joel and I are asking the same questions to God but going through different things. We may not have the same emotional feelings or the same situtation but I do think we are asking God similar questions. Why God do you allow other people to go through things we want to when it looks like we could handle it better than they could. Our motives are pure and we have all the right things needed to do what we have in our hearts to do while other people don't have the right movitives or it looks like they can not handle it why do they get to go through the very thing we want to do.
I guess I can say from my prospective is God you know what is best. may I bless and honor your decisions you make for my life. For when I said GOd I believe in Jesus and I want to have him be my Lord (boss) for the rest of my life I gave up all rights to chose where I would go what I would say and do. Now God gives us choices but if he says go here I must go.
Does it hurt to do God's will at times. Heck yeah. any way I could go on and on. But Sarah I guess what I wanted to say is: I am feeling for you. I don't know exactly what you are going through I am not feeling your exact feelings but I feel for you and will pray for you and what you and paul are going through.
Is God Fair. Yes. Does it look like He is fair No. Am I glad it looks like He is not fair. Heck yeah or I would think all of us would go to Hell
Love you all. Thank you for your prayers.
GOD IS GOOD,
The Butlers
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Only through God is there peace that surpasses all understanding
A double whooper for all those out there that read our blog.
So as I said in my earlier blog Be anxious for nothing is humanly impossible. I am learning as I thought I had done before that only true focus and trust in God can take away this anxiousness. Singing Praises, focusing on words God tells you to stand on, trusting God has your best in mind. This is the only way I can truly receive the Peace that Jesus has for me as well as any of you. Do not look to the left or right; Be still and know I am God, etc.
So the ship has a date for tomorrow or the next day to leave if I focus on this I freak but again that is looking to the Left or Right. All I can do now is think how Great God is and that he won't keep any Good thing from me. If the good things is Israel then we shall go. If it is not a good thing for Joel and I to go to Isreal He will not allow it to happen.
Praise you Father for even though your best to us isn't always how we like it at least we can stand on the Fact that you will do every thing in your power to provide the best.
So as of now this moment I am peaceful. Praise God for that.
Peace in Christ Jesus,
Dess
So as I said in my earlier blog Be anxious for nothing is humanly impossible. I am learning as I thought I had done before that only true focus and trust in God can take away this anxiousness. Singing Praises, focusing on words God tells you to stand on, trusting God has your best in mind. This is the only way I can truly receive the Peace that Jesus has for me as well as any of you. Do not look to the left or right; Be still and know I am God, etc.
So the ship has a date for tomorrow or the next day to leave if I focus on this I freak but again that is looking to the Left or Right. All I can do now is think how Great God is and that he won't keep any Good thing from me. If the good things is Israel then we shall go. If it is not a good thing for Joel and I to go to Isreal He will not allow it to happen.
Praise you Father for even though your best to us isn't always how we like it at least we can stand on the Fact that you will do every thing in your power to provide the best.
So as of now this moment I am peaceful. Praise God for that.
Peace in Christ Jesus,
Dess
Be Anxious for Nothing (Not Humanly possible)
So it has been a while since we have jotted down anything on our blog. And right now I need some therapy. So here it is.
Israel Israel Israel. That is all that has been running through any Friend Ships crew head since August 2nd when they made the announcement we were heading for Israel in two weeks. As of today it has been four. We have been working long hours with little time off. We are tired and exhausted. But for me these are nothing compared to my anxiousness. Jesus says be anxious for nothing in all things bring your supplications and requestion to the Lord with thanksgiving . . . . (I don't think I got most of the scripture right but I hope you get the point)
So why am I anxious because Joel and I still do not know if we are going to Israel or not. If the ship leaves before we get our immagration interview which is Sept 6 a week from today then we won't go if the ship is held up we go.
Back and forth back and forth.
Plus on top of this Joel and I have responsiblities for the mission trip. Joel has more than I but I seem to stress out a bit more than he does. He is arranging the cargo that will be leaving for Israel. Very hands on!!! I don't know all of his Job but he works a lot later than I do. I have been procuring to get food for the voyage. This is stressful to me because it is parishable foods that we need at the last moment but the companies need time to order the food in advance . . . so we think we are leaving this day we order the food in advance and then we don't leave on that day. Yikes. Plus all the extra running around to get items that departments need for the voyage.
Joel and I have recently become sick. I gave it to Joel. Poor Joel. I was in bed all day yesterday, didn't feel that good today but there is too much to do.
Sorry if words, sentences, phrases are choppy I am tired and not thinking straight. So that is Joels and my life in a nut shell these past few weeks. Pray that we will be less anxious. We really want to go but God does not with hold any Good thing from those that love Him.
Love ya'll very much.
Blessings,
The Butlers
Israel Israel Israel. That is all that has been running through any Friend Ships crew head since August 2nd when they made the announcement we were heading for Israel in two weeks. As of today it has been four. We have been working long hours with little time off. We are tired and exhausted. But for me these are nothing compared to my anxiousness. Jesus says be anxious for nothing in all things bring your supplications and requestion to the Lord with thanksgiving . . . . (I don't think I got most of the scripture right but I hope you get the point)
So why am I anxious because Joel and I still do not know if we are going to Israel or not. If the ship leaves before we get our immagration interview which is Sept 6 a week from today then we won't go if the ship is held up we go.
Back and forth back and forth.
Plus on top of this Joel and I have responsiblities for the mission trip. Joel has more than I but I seem to stress out a bit more than he does. He is arranging the cargo that will be leaving for Israel. Very hands on!!! I don't know all of his Job but he works a lot later than I do. I have been procuring to get food for the voyage. This is stressful to me because it is parishable foods that we need at the last moment but the companies need time to order the food in advance . . . so we think we are leaving this day we order the food in advance and then we don't leave on that day. Yikes. Plus all the extra running around to get items that departments need for the voyage.
Joel and I have recently become sick. I gave it to Joel. Poor Joel. I was in bed all day yesterday, didn't feel that good today but there is too much to do.
Sorry if words, sentences, phrases are choppy I am tired and not thinking straight. So that is Joels and my life in a nut shell these past few weeks. Pray that we will be less anxious. We really want to go but God does not with hold any Good thing from those that love Him.
Love ya'll very much.
Blessings,
The Butlers
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Check out our Flickr Sight
Hey Guys,
Just wanted to let you know we put pictures from our anniversary on our flickr sight. Hope you guys enjoy them.
Sorry it has been so long since we blogged last. We are working overtime weekdays and weekends for the Israel mission coming up.
Please pray that God will give us ALL the energy we need to make it until the ship sails for Israel.
God bring peace to Jerusalem!!!
Blessings to you all,
The Butlers
Just wanted to let you know we put pictures from our anniversary on our flickr sight. Hope you guys enjoy them.
Sorry it has been so long since we blogged last. We are working overtime weekdays and weekends for the Israel mission coming up.
Please pray that God will give us ALL the energy we need to make it until the ship sails for Israel.
God bring peace to Jerusalem!!!
Blessings to you all,
The Butlers
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